Surrender fear, loss, & Change with Julie Arduini

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3

A2Z Meme: This Twit Qwits

Posted by Julie on May 1, 2012 in About Me, encouragement, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, surrender, Writing |

Didn’t think I could come up with a “Q” post, did you?

Oh, but I did.

Thanks to Qwitter.

Qwitter is an app, for lack of a better word, where you can learn who on Twitter stopped following you. I find far too much pleasure in this resource. It’s sad, really.

For the most part, my Qwitters seem to be folks who must know I didn’t follow them back. I don’t follow spam, or p*rn, or all about business every single tweet of the day. I try to follow writers, whether they write in my genre, or not. One author wrote in her bio that she writes e*otic books, and I didn’t follow her. More than a writer, I’m a Christian wife and mom, and I just couldn’t follow someone whose words are a downfall to minds and marriages. It’s my conviction, and it might not be yours.

What I find interesting, though, is the Qwitters who followed me first. Most of the time, I have no idea who they are, writer or not. Some are Christian personalities that I know of, not in a personal way, but I know their ministry. I admit I’m curious when I get a Qwitter notice from those who found me first.

*Was I too Christian?

*Was I not enough Christian?

*Did I tweet about writing too much?

*Did I tweet about writing too little?

*Was the Christian and/or Writer offended that I mentioned another aspect of my life like a favorite TV show, a NASCAR race, or a mom moment?

It could get mind boggling if I let it, and I admit, at times I have. There were writers I admired that found me first, and Qwit. Ministry leaders. Musical groups. And moms that I thought were pretty awesome. I still do.

I’m keeping the Qwitter, but I’m quitting the analyzing. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay, because I’m one bold cup of coffee. I’m a Christian, but I’m not the kind that can send up KJV tweets. I’m full of encouragement and snarky humor. I love my NASCAR and have imperfect mom moments. I joined an authors network that is not all Christian work, and I signed on to tweet their messages once or twice a day. My blog and Facebook writing page auto feed to twitter. I have that daily newspaper app through Twitter that I believe can be a good marketing tool, but yes, it shows who I follow. I follow writers, moms, Christian folks, ministry leaders, and yes, the celebrities my kids like, so I know what’s going on. Sometimes teen celebrities speak their true selves, and I want to know before my kid models that behavior. Call me a stalker, call me eclectic, but it is what it is, and I am what I am. What you see from me on Twitter is how I act on Facebook, in e mail, on this site, and in person.

So if you have to Qwit me, it’s okay.

Because the one thing followers and Qwitters seem to get is that I’m all about surrender.

With a tag line and a writing life revolving around surrender, qwit me or not, I think I’m doing something right.

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0

Victory Over People Pleasing

Posted by Julie on April 23, 2012 in About Me, encouragement, God's Word, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, surrender, Writing |

Repost from April 28, 2011

 

Recently I had to give a testimony and a lot of it has to do with this very site. When I prayed about sharing I realized that most things we all need to surrender come from a place of fear. Perhaps this is something you can relate to. I edited this post for privacy issues. I pray it blesses you!

Jesus Paved the Way to Victory over People Pleasing

 

Most of you know me  as “The Surrendered Scribe.”  It’s more than a fun blog name but a way of life for me. I think this is a great testimony because it shows that healing, even in Jesus, is a process.  That is the case for me and people pleasing.

My need for approval and to be liked goes back as earliest memories. I remember wanting to hear affirmations in things I tried or wore or just was as a little girl. I believe I excelled in school as a means of avoiding conflict and having attention. I wanted to be liked and as the years went on, the want for me turned to a need.

By college I started to be popular and the need became a preoccupation. I didn’t want to lose the feeling that people liked me and sought me out. I constantly thought of ideas to keep me in the circle including sarcastic barbs to anyone that I thought might be competition to my popularity.  That meant treating good people bad, something I counted as part of the cost.

 

After graduation I said a prayer to ask Jesus into my life almost immediately but healing from so many things didn’t come right away. People pleasing was something I didn’t even realize was an issue for many years, yet the need continued. Working in communications I only felt I was doing a good job when I saw my name in the paper in bold. I signed up for committees and headed projects to people would see me as a hard worker. As a new Christian I felt I had to say yes to everyone and everything. I was a Sunday school teacher, librarian on a missions committee, VBS helper and a youth worker within months of my salvation. Looking back, the Lord probably didn’t want me to participate in any of those things at that time.  But I couldn’t bear the thought of letting anyone down.

Getting engaged and being newly married only made things worse. I wanted his family to love me and I believed a lot of lies about myself and my place in his life. I was so caught in the stronghold of people pleasing I remember being in chronic pain and staying up all hours carving out a Christmas penguin centerpiece out of eggplant. Yet that didn’t clue me in that I had a problem.  It only grew worse. Things progressed to the point that I would become ill taking the burden that I had to be perfect, say the perfect thing and when perfect things didn’t happen, I took the devastation personally.

The real fear of losing our marriage helped me understand I needed help. I was working so hard to be the best at everything my hands were touching that I was burned out. When I got burned out I became angry and took it out on my husband.  One day we had a fight and he let me know this behavior had to stop and he wouldn’t allow our son to be a participant to it. He was serious and I knew something had to change. The problem wasn’t him—it was me.

I confessed and repented, asking God for help. I had to rely on His divine power especially when I had to speak up and speak the truth in love.  I said no to extra projects I couldn’t physically handle. I pressed in and remembered who really gets glory when my name was in the paper.

I believe these things had to take place for me to write as a ministry. I think right along with people pleasing was fear and writing for Him meant not being afraid what people thought. I took Beth Moore’s Believing God and on top of all the other things I was doing, He just lavished on me. I started to see who I was in Him instead of what I was hoping to be. I believe the advocate I had to be for our daughter in her season of chronic illness also showed me how futile people pleasing was.  She received care that was wrong and I had to proactively stand up and say so even though it wasn’t a people pleasing choice. By the time I read Captivating and was transformed by the message that I am lovely…I was ready to write.

The huge praise was once I surrendered writing and all fears I had about being rejected or being hooked on being a people pleaser…none of that happened. I wrote for 4 years before I received a single rejection and when I did, I laughed.  Most of the time when I receive a rejection I’ve even forgotten I submitted for that thing anyway.  That is how far God has taken me.  I couldn’t worry about my name in print and write, and I thank Him for this victory. God has a continuous praise coming from me as His Scribe in book and online format.

I am so thankful for His divine power.

Update: If you live in the Youngstown area, I’m facilitating a small group starting Thursday, May 3 where I’m presenting both Captivating and Made to Crave in DVD format. These books were life changing for me, and I think they can be for you, too. Contact me if you’d like details.

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0

A Total and Complete Victory

Posted by Julie on March 21, 2012 in About Me, God's Word, Life Lessons, surrender |

This is one of my favorite times of year. It’s more than the smell of hyacinths or this year, being able to wear my sandals in Ohio in March. It’s Passion Play season, and even watching my family and friends in rehearsal, I’m overcome with the reality of Christ’s love for us.

But I’m human and sometimes my mind argues I need more than love. I need proof. Action. Things done. Mountains moved. And if that’s you, I thought I’d share some of those kind of stories with you. They are true because they are my stories.

Today is about a total and complete victory.

When our daughter was a baby and toddler, she was chronically sick. So much so as a baby she required 80 hours of therapy a month through her first five years. Most of those years she received it as a special needs student in a pre-school, but there was a toddler year where our insurance covered it. Or so we thought.

One day I received a form letter explaining that over $8k of therapies were not covered. I appealed and they said, ask again, with a doctor’s letter.  So I did. I received a paragraph letting me know I was denied once again.

At the same time the hospital where the therapies took place were sending bills. They were one of the first establishments in our area to show signs of the economy falling, and they were in deep financial trouble. They didn’t have time for people not to pay bills. They needed every cent as much as we did.

But I called and explained.

When I prayed about it, one phrase kept coming back and back and back to me.

Total and complete victory.

Usually after three or more times of hearing a phrase, seeing a message, piece of Scripture, some kind of visual—I don’t think it’s coincidence. I’m paying attention.

Close attention, in fact.

In between filing appeals, copying statements, visiting politicians and doctors for help, and yes, taking care of the little one and her older brother, I decided I needed to define that four word statement. And to me, total and complete victory meant I was going to get an apology from the insurance provider.

Kind of like a Christian Erin Brockovich, if you will.

Each hour I worked on the appeals I fantasized about the victory. They were going to apologize and lift me as an example of how they forgot the patient in their day to day mission statement.

By the time I filed for the third appeal, I was bold on the outside, but deep down, in that honest place few want to really investigate, I was scared to death. I printed so many statements, 700+ pages worth, our printer died. The stress I put on myself was so much that a year later I went in for a hysterectomy. I’m sure I accelerated that need with all the work and bitterness I put forth with the insurance issues. Anyway, when I put the last appeal in the mail, I knew this was it. There were no more appeals after this.

So total and complete victory, I needed that definition to show itself.

Yesterday.

And in less than forty-eight hours after the hearing, a one paragraph letter from our insurance came in the mail.

Want to know more?

Did they apologize?

Did total and complete victory every materialize?

Why does Julie Arduini do this to us?

Well I’ll share the conclusion tomorrow. Trust me, it is worth waiting for.  If you know someone who is struggling, why not send them here? I’m praying this two-part blog post encourages many.

Including you!

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1

Sabbath Sunday: I Got This

Each Sunday I like to post one of my amateur nature pictures along with a thought about God, in hopes that it encourages you on this day of rest. You can love it, hate it, agree, disagree, but know this, you didn’t find this post by accident.

I shared a couple weeks ago on Facebook about my lack of peace regarding something in my life that has burned me and left me emotionally scarred, if you will. My something is most likely different than yours, but when this thing comes to my attention, my stomach tightens, my mind reels, and my peace is gone, by my own choice. I stew, worry, fret, and spiral into a depression and pity party.

In the midst of this, I was in the car alone and just shared my thoughts. If you think I’m a formal praying person, you’re wrong. I’m not in religion, I’m in relationship. God is my Father, Jesus is my friend, and the Holy Spirit is my teacher. They are my life, and I’m honest with them. They can handle it, so no fancy, dancing around the topic for me. I laid it all out, and questioned why this keeps happening.

Three words came to mind.

I got this.

Instantly my mind kicks into overdrive. I got this, how empowering! Yes, I got this. I’ll call here, demand that, write here, send there….and in that deep place in my heart where the deepest love and wisdom from above flow, all thoughts were disrupted.

“Not you, me. I got this.”

Every worry that started to form immediately halted with those three words. Dental bills-I got this. Flexcard-I got this. Co-pays? I got this. Child’s future? I got this. Direction? I got this.

God wants you to know He's Got This

Julie Arduini, my daughter, my sassy darling—I. Got. This.

I’m neither a scholar or a kook, just a surrendered Child of God always willing to hear His voice, and He doesn’t disappoint. God is not a cruel taskmaster, nor is He a puppet master, laughing it up as He pulls strings. He wants relationship, to share with you. Reveal things, love you, tell you serious things, tell you funny things. All you have to do is ask. Know that the bridge I show above is a visual for me—that I have the connection with God that I do because I believe Him. I don’t just believe in Him, I believe Him. I believe His Son is that bridge that gives me access to see from His perspective, because I ask. I’m still human, I make mistakes, I doubt, pout, and everything in between.

But make no mistake, I hear his voice.

And if you’re willing, so can you.

If worries have you without peace today, trade my name in the sentence for yours.

(Your Name), I got this.

And with a mustard seed size faith, so small I can barely hold onto it when I touch such a seed, believe that He does.

And watch that peace return.

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1

Sabbath Sunday: I Got This

Each Sunday I like to post one of my amateur nature pictures along with a thought about God, in hopes that it encourages you on this day of rest. You can love it, hate it, agree, disagree, but know this, you didn’t find this post by accident.

I shared a couple weeks ago on Facebook about my lack of peace regarding something in my life that has burned me and left me emotionally scarred, if you will. My something is most likely different than yours, but when this thing comes to my attention, my stomach tightens, my mind reels, and my peace is gone, by my own choice. I stew, worry, fret, and spiral into a depression and pity party.

In the midst of this, I was in the car alone and just shared my thoughts. If you think I’m a formal praying person, you’re wrong. I’m not in religion, I’m in relationship. God is my Father, Jesus is my friend, and the Holy Spirit is my teacher. They are my life, and I’m honest with them. They can handle it, so no fancy, dancing around the topic for me. I laid it all out, and questioned why this keeps happening.

Three words came to mind.

I got this.

Instantly my mind kicks into overdrive. I got this, how empowering! Yes, I got this. I’ll call here, demand that, write here, send there….and in that deep place in my heart where the deepest love and wisdom from above flow, all thoughts were disrupted.

“Not you, me. I got this.”

Every worry that started to form immediately halted with those three words. Dental bills-I got this. Flexcard-I got this. Co-pays? I got this. Child’s future? I got this. Direction? I got this.

God wants you to know He's got this

Julie Arduini, my daughter, my sassy darling—I. Got. This.

I’m neither a scholar or a kook, just a surrendered Child of God always willing to hear His voice, and He doesn’t disappoint. God is not a cruel taskmaster, nor is He a puppet master, laughing it up as He pulls strings. He wants relationship, to share with you. Reveal things, love you, tell you serious things, tell you funny things. All you have to do is ask. Know that the bridge I show above is a visual for me—that I have the connection with God that I do because I believe Him. I don’t just believe in Him, I believe Him. I believe His Son is that bridge that gives me access to see from His perspective, because I ask. I’m still human, I make mistakes, I doubt, pout, and everything in between.

But make no mistake, I hear his voice.

And if you’re willing, so can you.

If worries have you without peace today, trade my name in the sentence for yours.

(Your Name), I got this.

And with a mustard seed size faith, so small I can barely hold onto it when I touch such a seed, believe that He does.

And watch that peace return.

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2

So Simple We Miss It

Posted by Julie on September 6, 2011 in About Me, encouragement, God's Word, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, surrender |

Children get it, don’t they? Where we  need theories and proof kids just know. Faith like a child is something adults should aspire to. I do!

I was sharing a lesson with early elementary age girls and the topic was peace. Simply put, peace is the absence of worry. I explained that worry is not from God. When they start thinking about what if’s they should stop and remember the source. One girl raised her hand and said, “I know—if I start to worry I know it’s the devil and I just say ‘Jesus, throw him out!”

I love it. It’s truth so simple we miss it.

Are you able to do like my pint-size friend? When the worries come can you proclaim in Jesus’ name that the worries and their source are not welcome?

I challenge you to take it a step further.

I know for me the chain usually goes from worry, to fear of failure, then feeling like a failure. That’s the strategy of the devil and it doesn’t change because we keep falling for it. His end goal is to make you feel defeated. 

Look around.

Too many of us are falling for that lie.

So when that cycle starts with worry, start proclaiming.

Worry is not welcome, in Jesus’ name.

The source of that worry is not welcome, in Jesus’ name.

I am not defeated, in Jesus’ name.

The real name of the devil (and he does not want you to know this let alone proclaim it) is the defeated one.

Get out of here true defeated one, in Jesus’ name.

It’s that simple.

Don’t miss it.

 

 

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