As I’ve mentioned, I’m summarizing the different ways my 2015 word for the year, revive, played out in and around me.
Spiritual revive was a biggie.
I didn’t know how burned out and vulnerable I was until I was under attack. Although I don’t say much here, prayer, especially standing in the gap for others, is a major part of my life. I’ve been around enough I can usually discern when trouble is lurking and pray for strategy.
This attack popped out of nowhere and seemed to have no intentions in letting up. I read up and learned more about what the background is, the goal, how to defeat it, and warnings as you prayerfully try.
The problem was I was burned out, and that made me vulnerable. On top of that, it was a direct attack. It was against me and my child. Where I was usually able to be proactive, I was weak and reactive. Things went from bad to worse.
Thankfully I have a team that covers me in prayer, and I also called in local reinforcements who knew me and also stand in the gap through prayer. They insisted on coming to the house, and these ladies PRAYED.
In less than a month, all attacks were gone.
It’s still been a challenging year. Usually when one is burned out, the other isn’t. Well, my husband was in worse spiritual shape than I was. He needed a break. He finally got one and is still enjoying it.
I also was floored with a medical update with our daughter. She’s at the age where she can process that her peers don’t have these updates, labs, and appointments like she does. She questioned God, and I understood. I was doing the same. For an overcomer, this didn’t seem fair. She’s been through so much already.
I had to fight hard to get out of that pit.
I started attending Friday worship services at another church. No one knows me there for the most part so I can surrender all and not worry about people stopping to talk or ask me questions. The speakers were top notch and I took notes. It fed my soul.
I let a lot of ministry go. This was hard but I knew I had to. I was tired and going through the motions. I had to trust God had people ready to step up when I finally obeyed and stepped down. Not only did it give me needed rest, it gave me time to finish a book I was struggling with.
I also joined the Women’s Bible Café on Facebook. As an introvert, I thrive with online activities, so this Bible study has been oxygen for me.
So it’s been the tough stuff and the rest that contributed to my spiritual revive.
Can anyone relate?
When our daughter was in an infant she was diagnosed with airway restrictive disease or something like that. It was asthma, but she was too young to be diagnosed with it was the gist of it.
But breathing was hard for her without assistance.
As she’s aged, she’s needed the nebulizer less and less. In fact, I’m not even sure where I unpacked it. But with the recent weather changes she’s had trouble catching her breath after exerting herself. After communicating with the doctor we decided to get an inhaler for prevention.
I looked at it and realized I can relate a lot to that inhaler, silly as it sounds.
I’ve been exerting myself harder than I thought spiritually. This first half of the year has felt like an uphill climb in ways as we walked through what we knew was planned, and through what wasn’t.
My times in the Word were on the low side but my need increased.
After a few spiritual skirmishes and direction we know is from the Lord, I’m not just tired.
I’m spiritually gasping for air.
I’ve been journaling and that’s helped, but I decided to find a Bible study that would meet my current needs. I have trouble finding friends who can commit to a Bible study and finish with me. I have trouble attending local ones because I can get a bit crazy about sounds and personal space.
So, I joined Women’s Bible Cafe on Facebook, the Anonymous Bible Study. The book is by Cindi Wood and there are several times throughout the week to join the groups. I decided during the day when the kids are in school so I can focus. I am loving the book. It is like a spring rain on a dry plant. I can’t soak in enough. To be a nameless face just encouraging others and receiving His Word, it is restoring me from critical to stable. To continue on the road to thriving, I know I need more things like this.
The study has been my inhaler and I thank God in His wisdom He showed me what used to work before wasn’t enough in this season. I’ve been depleted on a lot of levels and now I’m having intimate time with the Lord, revelation from Him, connection with others and accountability.
What’s your spiritual state right now? Are you in need of an inhaler?