Character Confession: The Empty Juicebox
You’ve seen an empty juicebox. My hearing is sensitive enough that when my daughter tries to get that last drop and the pouch flails, gasping for breath, it hurts my ears.
But the visual speaks volumes.
When I was a mother of a preschooler, this was how they explained a moms need to rest, even for a few minutes each day. No one is worth much when they are as empty as a juicebox.
Well, that would be me. Last week my mother-in-law passed away, and overall my husband and I have a peace about it. She was suffering and the thought of that tears me up inside. I’m glad her pain is over.
But she was the matriarch of a big family, including extended family and close friends that she would make feel welcome with a simple hello and hug. That void is felt and for everyone included, that grief is deep. My father-in-law is alone for the first time in almost 54 years. They were so in love and never lost that spark.
I forgot how much the process takes out of everyone, not including travel times and trying to remember daily things when you are in a fog. In the middle of all this my husband has been traveling a lot. These days we are pleasantly surprised when we are all in the same state, let alone under the same roof. We don’t take family for granted these days.
My fog has been such I made a huge mistake driving and cracked a rear view mirror and have a nice gouge and decent scratches against my new car. The night before that the navigation froze and I got mixed up driving. I made another driving mistake and ticked off another driver, rightfully so. I was wrong. But in that empty state of mind, their incessant honking and driving right on my bumper was one more thing I didn’t have the frame of mind to deal with. So I slowed right down, setting myself up for a nice case of road rage.
And in His mercy, He moved that car away from me before things escalated further, because in my mindset, I was ready for the driver to hit the back of my car. I was that done, so tired, but ready for a fight. With anyone.
That’s what an empty juicebox looks like. Again, in His mercy, He’s made it so I have the opportunity to fill again and find a place for rest and healing. Not doing so isn’t healthy, for anyone. So if you don’t see me online for a day or two, know I’m smart enough to know rest rejuvenates. It gives me creativity and new ideas.
And helps me be less of a risk on the road.
What are signs you are running on empty juicebox status? What are ways you re-create?
image from hairpin
