“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
What a load of . . . well that’s just not true and I have the scars to prove it.
You’re fat.
You’re ugly.
No likes you.
No one…will ever…love you.
And those are just the things I said to myself.
You have such a pretty face, if you could just lose weight.
Boys don’t like to date chubby girls.
Men don’t marry heavy women.
I made a vow I’d never marry a woman who was overweight.
The last was spoken the night the man I had been dating said he couldn’t marry me because I was overweight. I was devastated. Everything I’d feared was true about me…was. I went home, curled up on the cold tile of my bathroom floor and eyed an entire bottle of ibuprofen I’d dumped into my hand.
As I contemplated whether or not to swallow the pills, the enemy taunted me, reminding me I was of no value to anyone. Tears flooded my eyes. I yearned for a love that would look upon my heart and find inestimable worth, despite my physical flaws. Couldn’t someone love and accept me the way I was?
Like a needle caught in the scratch of a vinyl record, the toxic phrases played repeatedly in my head. Why was it so hard to believe a man might find me attractive? Even love me? It all boiled down to the same thing in my mind—I was undesirable, therefore unlovable.
In that desperate moment another voice spoke to my damaged heart offering life instead of death.
I do not regret making you.
I do not look upon you as man does.
I look upon your heart and what I see is beautiful.
You are worthy of my love.
I love you more than any man ever will.
The overwhelming inadequacy that had burdened my spirit since childhood disappeared. A soothing peace soaked into my parched soul like water in the dessert, bringing relief to every dry crevice.
The Voice of Truth had silenced the Great Deceiver.
Words have the power to lift us up or tear us down. The most dangerous ones are the ones we repeat every day. I spent too many years speaking words of death over myself—that I was fat, ugly, unlovable and unworthy of the God I believed sacrificed His son on my behalf.
In a world that often equates our worth to the size of our paycheck, our appearance or the diploma hanging from our wall, it can be very tough to see our own value. We are ignorant if we don’t agree with the current PC opinion. We are ugly if we don’t look like the air-brushed images on fashion magazines. We are a failure if we don’t earn a six-figure income and have the latest devices at our fingertips.
The Bible tells us in John 10:10 that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Here are just a few things the Bible has to say about you:
1 Thes.1: 4 You are chosen and dearly loved of God.
Ps. 139:14 You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Zech. 2:8 You are the apple of God’s eyes. (I just love that one!)
2 Cor. 5:17 You are a new creation in Christ.
John 1:12 You are a child of God.
Col. 1:14 You have been forgiven.
Rom. 8:1 You are free forever from condemnation.
Eph. 2:6 You are his masterpiece.
A Love Restored by Kelly Goshorn
My personal struggle with weight issues and my journey to self-acceptance is shown through my heroine, Ruth Ann, in my debut novel, A Love Restored. At its core, A Love Restored is a story about the power of words over our lives. It is a story about the struggle each of us faces to take our thoughts captive to the truth of Scripture so we may experience the fullness of God’s unequivocal love for us.
I hope readers will be able to relate to Ruth Ann’s struggle. Whether their issue is body image, finances, appearance, lifestyle, occupation or something entirely different. My prayer for each of you is that you will not allow the enemy to steal the joy that is rightfully yours as a child of God. Speak the truth of the gospel over yourself every day and ask God to give you His eyes to see yourself as He does. (1 Samuel 16:7b)
About A Love Restored—She was nothing like the woman he’d envisioned for his bride, but he was everything she’d ever dreamed of—until a promise from his past threatened their future.
A LOVE RESTORED
With pert opinions and a less-than-perfect figure, Ruth Ann Sutton doesn’t measure up to society’s vision of a perfect lady. When she accepts a position teaching in a Freedman’s School, it threatens the only marriage offer Ruth Ann is likely to receive. She’s forced to choose between life as a lonely spinster or reinventing herself to secure a respectable proposal.
Determined to rise above his meager beginnings, Benjamin Coulter’s reputation as a fast learner and hard worker earn him the opportunity to apprentice with a surveyor for the railroad—a position that will garner the respect of other men. After a chance encounter with Ruth Ann Sutton, Benjamin is smitten with her pretty face, quick wit, and feisty personality.
When others ridicule his choice, will Benjamin listen to his heart or put ambition first?
Kelly Goshorn weaves her affinity for history and her passion for God into uplifting stories of love, faith and family set in nineteenth century America. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. Kelly has been enjoying her own happily-ever-after with her husband and best friend, Mike, for 28 years. Together they have raised three children, four cats, two dogs, a turtle, a guinea pig, a gecko, and countless hamsters. Thankfully, not all at the same time. When she is not writing, Kelly enjoys spending time with her young adult children, scrapbooking with friends, board gaming with her husband, and spoiling her Welsh corgi, Levi. Her debut novel, A Love Restored, releases June 29th from Pelican Book Group.
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Kelly Goshorn weaves her affinity for history and her passion for God into uplifting stories of love, faith and family set in nineteenth century America. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. Kelly has been enjoying her own happily-ever-after with her husband and best friend, Mike, for 28 years. Together they have raised three children, four cats, two dogs, a turtle, a guinea pig, a gecko, and countless hamsters. Thankfully, not all at the same time. When she is not writing, Kelly enjoys spending time with her young adult children, scrapbooking with friends, board gaming with her husband, and spoiling her Welsh corgi, Levi. Her debut novel, A Love Restored, releases June 29th from Pelican Book Group.
