Reclaiming Peace

Last month I shared that my word for the year is RECLAIM. When I think back to the last couple of years, there has been so much grief, destruction, and chaos. I believe so much has come from the pit of hell and because of my faith in Christ, I have authority in Him to decree it’s time to get my stuff back. Everything the enemy stole, it’s reclaim time.

One, if not the biggest thing, the true defeated one took from me was peace.

I didn’t know how big anxiety was a part of my life until I was on vacation unable to walk. Fear literally paralyzed me. I look back and remember events from childhood when I was literally sick because it was art day. Or times I worked a job where the manager played the admin against the laborers and the lies she wanted me to spread also made me sick.

Then there’s been weather. That seems an odd thing to have anxiety about but I remember an aunt that literally hid and refused to leave the house if there was even a hint of a thunderstorm. My dad had a job that revolved around winter, but he was definitely a bit too attached to predictions and whether we were going to leave the house or not.

Me? Well, summer is not my favorite season. It’s the humidity. It chokes me. My hormones have always been out of whack and now that I’m over 50, it’s brutal. I take medicine and supplements, but I really have to pray to walk through days where I hear high humidity. It could mean multiple wardrobe changes. Exhaustion.

Winter? Snow doesn’t bother me. Ice? That’s another story. I have knees that dislocate easily and ice has caused me anxiety as long as I can remember. My inability to walk last year in the summer is actually the same reaction I have in ice without the grips I wear on my shoes. I wear those things from October to May, or at least until I am certain ice is gone.

This year we’ve had a couple weeks of harsh winter conditions. Last week we had a storm, Landon, that gave us two inches of solid ice before we got six inches of snow. And that all was on top of snow that still had not melted from the last storm. My son’s car was encased in ice. Because I was the only one home on a warmer day where it was ripe melting conditions, I trekked out and worked three hours to get that car free. The snow was to his door. The entire car was in ice.

Then I had to recycle. We’ve had enough storms that garbage schedules are off and so is recycling. I had to go to another town because our bins were so full. I get there and the first row of bins are all full. The second row are further back, and to reach them, I had to climb the incline that is all ice. So icy even my boot grips were like, “No.” I had a bin bigger than me to navigate.

Every part of me wanted to return to the car.

But this is the year of reclaim.

I took a deep breath and put the bin on the ground and pushed it to the bin. I emptied the bin and then used it again to help me down to the car. Going down is harder for me, and I deep breathed through. A couple tears fell because I was mad I had to even work those conditions. But I did it. A man even watched me and kept telling me to be careful, it was icy. I agreed and thanked him, but I did it.

Reclaiming peace meant even though I didn’t love it, and although I was a little nervous about falling, I didn’t back down. I breathed and trusted God had me.

Victory!