I’m Not Apologizing for That

Sounds like I’m starting the new year off sassy.

Not quite.

One thing about me is I’m honest to a fault, although I try to speak the truth in love. The last couple years I’ve journaled my experience with both my hair going naturally curly and gray. Neither was something I saw coming, and it’s been a learning season putting myself out there.

What I didn’t expect was people looking at me and my changes and apologizing for not following my lead.

I’ve had family and friends explain they are going to their stylist, getting their hair straightened and/or colored and then look at me and say, “Sorry. I’m just not ready.”

They mean they aren’t ready to go curly or gray.

And I totally get that. It wasn’t even a year ago I was loudly proclaiming that I would NEVER go gray like so-and-so because it would age me as I felt it had that person. I loved my bold red color and changing it up was not in my plan.

Here’s a hint: never tell God your plans or announce a vow. Because it took zero time for the color to stop staying. By February last year I knew the color wasn’t staying more than two weeks and I was spending a lot of time, money, and chemicals for no results.

But that’s my journey and I had to get their on my own. My mom is in her seventies and she’s colored her hair since she was 16. And that’s ok. I have people in my life who save up so they can get a Brazilian Blowout and keep their locks straight. That’s their journey. I went curly because my hair surrendered to my hormones. I couldn’t keep it straight and boy did I try. Once I experimented with the Curly Girl Method, I felt free. I feel my curls represent my personality. Just like straight hair is perfect for so many others.

This year I sense there are things I used to overlook, to my own detriment, that I will speak up about. There are boundaries I believe I’m going to set for my well-being and sustained peace. There are many things I’ll continue to apologize for because I’m flawed and learning. But there are also things I won’t apologize for.

One is having my convictions and journey. And I’m not going to let you apologize for having yours.

Straight hair? Dyed hair? You, go, you!

Are there things you’ve tried or given up that others have apologized for because they don’t participate in the same thing? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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Jenna remains one of my favorite characters because she charts her own course and definitely doesn’t fit in. I’d love for you to read her story in ENTRUSTED.

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