Character Confession: Right Down to My Pink Cammo Boots

Earlier this week I shared what it feels like to be 42. I let friends know on my personal FB page that destiny awaits. It was in my late 30’s I threw off the burden of fearing man and what others thought of me. It is one of the most freeing experiences in my life.

I’ve been taking part in a study of sorts called The Esther Experience. For five weeks nearly 200 women in Greater Youngstown learn about the woman who became queen and saved her people in a symbolic and personal way. There is so much to the story that I knew, but to see it live and experience as an Esther, wow.

Through this study something so obvious hit me right between the eyes, perhaps this is your call too, and it’s so simple you’re missing it. Maybe it’s scary so you’re avoiding it.

Here it is.

I’m not dainty.

 

 

 

I’m the one who will stain a shirt or a carpet before any child. I’ll trip walking upstairs and when I felt released from fear of what others thought, I tossed dresses and skirts to the thrift pile. I’m a pants girl and the more comfortable, the better. I’m not a slob, but I know what works for me. I am not out to impress. Heels? I’ve never worn them. Not once. It’s not only that I have knees that dislocate, it is just not me. I don’t miss wearing them. They are not practical for me. Have you seen me walk? I’m always on a mission and heels would slow me down. Given my lack of coordination, it would be a medical nightmare.

But here is who I am.

A pink-cammo-boot-wearing warrior.

Because of my knees, I need a boot with tread. Two winters ago I went shopping and found a boot on sale that was the sturdy I’ve always been looking for. I questioned the pink cammo, but thought of my daughter and her fashion sense and went for it. She was so pleased she created a poster about how awesome my boots are. I get comments about them all the time. People love them and admit they probably wouldn’t be able to pull it off.

But because of how God created me, I can.

This week the Esther experience was a wedding reception that quickly turned into a war time situation. That was Esther’s predicament, don’t think she stayed in the oils that prepared her. Her people were in danger and there was nothing dainty about her when she announced, “if I perish, I perish.”

Part of the war time theme for the study was for each participant to walk a line of women in fatigues, swords raised, who let out a battle cry. You know what, each woman I passed, every sword raised, I walked with more purpose, steely gaze, confident walk.

When it came to prayer time, I was so ready for God’s marching orders that I wanted to walk on top of the chairs and storm the altar. But when it was my turn and I received my dog tags, the person who put it on me looked me in the eye and said, “Julie, you know you’re a warrior.”

Yes. Yes, I do.

Like Esther, I’ve journeyed through a process. I went through a preparation where I received God’s healing from the past. With His leading I overcame fear of man and death. With that, I knew exactly who I was and Whose I am. With that kind of knowledge, I know I have authority and access because of Christ. Now opportunities are coming up where I have the choice to walk in that authority and battle, or let God rise someone else up.

I’m human and admit there are places and people God points me to that I argue about. It’s too hard. They won’t listen. Are you kidding me, Lord?

But, my boots were made for walking. My mouth was made for proclaiming. And as a bride of Christ, I know I’m going to get dirty and bloodied. I’ve dealt with illness, death, financial burdens, strife, and praying through spiritual darkness that most of the world doesn’t want to admit exists yet alone go up against it in prayer, fasting, acts of obedience and proclamation.

Earlier this year I had a taste of that kind of battle and it was new territory. I was praying with someone and asking questions that were yes/no to discern how to pray and learn what was really going on. I knew it was deeper than face value, and in ten minutes, the true source of the issue unraveled. It was spiritual warfare where only sturdy boots and intense focus could even survive taking a step in, let alone surviving. In Jesus’ name I called out the one thing I knew, like a terrorist, was hiding and didn’t want to be exposed. As soon as I called it out, I saw a marked change in the person I was praying for. I continued with the focus and proclaimed that the specific thing messing with the person wasn’t just going to leave, it was a spiritual evil force that in Jesus’ name, must die at the root, not to return. I proclaimed who that person was and praised the One who created this person.

When the prayer time was done, the person’s face and actions did a total 180. Peace was back and the intense fear was gone. Each day this person’s outlook improved and they noted changes immediately.  A simple, “Hope you get better” wasn’t going to work. They knew it took a warrior stance. And for the first time, I was called to the frontlines.

And finally, as I went through that Esther military line, as I watched a bride wield a sword and swath through the atmosphere as battle music played, as I received prayer about being strategically placed for such a time as this, it hit me—

I’m a warrior.

Right down to my pink cammo boots.

If God has called you to something, even being the one wearing heels preparing banquets for tired leaders and weary warriors, embrace it.