Christian women don’t have to choose between being sexual and spiritual.
They have legitimate longings that the Church has been afraid to
talk about, and books like Fifty Shades of Grey exploit. Whether
you are single or married, sexually dead or just looking to revive your sex
life, Pulling Back the Shades will address your desire
to be both sexual AND spiritual. With solid Biblical teaching and transparent
stories, trusted authors Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery, offer an unflinching
look at the most personal questions women ask. The book offers practical
advice for women to address five core longings:
cherished by a manto be protected by a strong manto rescue
a manto be sexually alive to escape reality
designed women with these longings and has a plan to satisfy them. It’s
time for women to identify their intimate longings and God-honoring ways to fulfill
I knew there would be a Christian response to the “50 Shades” phenomenon. What I didn’t realize until after I read Pulling Back the Shades is the deep need there is for a Christian response, and for every woman and clergy member to read it.
Pulling Back the Shades explains that the Fifty Shades of Grey is about in easy to understand terms. Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery go through and inform readers what actions in the book are real, and not. What actions are Biblical, and not. They explain that Christian women ARE reading not only Fifty Shades of Gray, but erotica in general. And defending themselves. Instead of judging women who read these books, the authors explain what is driving them to.
Women, even Christian women, single and married, are lonely.
They long for romance.
And right there ready to pounce is the true defeated one, offering what looks like a perfect solution. Instead of having an affair, women feel justified reading erotica. But the after effects, the consequences of taking the mind to those words are far reaching and devastating.
I really was shocked by the grip satan has on women through erotica. Pornography is well documented and spoken about in sermons and counselor offices. But women reading Fifty Shades of Gray and books like it, and that it is causing problems? I was naive. I had no idea how many Christian women are reading these books. How many find the situations real and long for them enough in their lives they are leaving their marriages and seeking satisfaction where they can find it, thinking what they read in the books will be as thrilling as real life.
But devastation lays in the wake.
I applaud Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery for tackling the subject, and for Dr. Slattery reading the Shades series. She did so with her clinical background and her faith, but covered herself in prayer as she read. Beyond the clinical things she discovered that I hinted at above, she was taken aback at the spiritual mocking the 50 Shades books takes, so subtle that EL James probably didn’t even realize it as she wrote. The “hero’s” name is Christian. The word holy is misused over and over and over again. Scriptural reference is employed in direct contrast to the Bible. And I could go on.
This book needs to be in every woman’s hands. Christian or not. All clergy should have this book and be ready for the women who will be coming in seeking counsel, or for the sermons they should prepare in an effort to set women free from a stronghold they might not know is destroying them.
Pulling Back the Shades is a must read. I’m sorry that it has to be as much as the authors struggled with writing it because the topic is so graphic. But I’m so glad they did.
To purchase Pulling Back the Shades, please click here.
I received a copy in exchange for an honest review.
So, Valentine’s Day…
Hallmark conspiracy or a great day to focus on love?
I’m spending my day in an unconventional way (hint: Cue the Law and Order music) but thought I’d share a couple Valentine memories over the years. It’s funny how my romance meter ebbs and flows.
I’m 6 and in the first grade and I get the stomach flu. I miss an entire week of school including my Valentine’s party. I remember my bag being overstuffed with valentines. I felt so loved. I remember the guy I had a little first grade crush on gave me a Hong Kong Phooey card. Oh the days!
I’m 26 and a newlywed. My husband comes home and I have such huge hopes that our time together will mirror one of his black and white movies we watch together. He comes home and hands me a plastic shopping bag with an oversized pink kitten sweatshirt. I’ll never forget his words as he handed the bag to me.
“This was on sale.”
I laugh now and it took a long time to communicate my disappointment. He felt pressured by a coworker to buy something and knew I was practical so he thought saying it was on sale would sound practical. I admitted handing me a bag with those words didn’t make me feel valued. He then confessed the shirt was all that was left. You know what though? I wore that thing for years. It’s a good story to talk about expectations.
The last Valentine’s that stands out I think I was 30. Our son was hooked on the show Lizzie McGuire. We watched every episode including what the heartthrob character wrote in Lizzie’s yearbook. I thought it was a stroke of genius that I wrote that statement in my husband’s card. An inside joke. An ode to Lizzie.
I chuckled all week thinking about him opening the card.
You rock. Don’t ever change.
I still laugh about that, we became so one in communication we wrote the same thing to each other!
What Valentine memories do you have?
First posted 2/14/11
Marriage Monday, and it’s a blog-whatever-comes-to-mind theme.
With it so close to Valentine’s, that’s an easy one, right?
But I have to tell you.
I’m just not feeling Valentine’s Day.
Honestly, I’m not feeling much of anything.
We go through seasons and we seem to be in winter.
Numbing, never-ending winter.
I think it’s grief, literal grief from a family loss, and grief from a lot of change that came on pretty fast.
Too fast if you ask me.
And today at church I was reeling.
And God met me there.
So, my brain is still mush.
How about I share with you my favorite couples and why?
In random order, here they are:
Andrew Paxton and Margaret Tate, The Proposal. This wasn’t an Oscar winner, but I don’t care. I have to watch this romantic comedy everytime I see it on my channel guide. Margaret is tough and unlikeable until she slowly reveals the layers on why she acts the way she does. You can’t help but root for them.
Bob Rueland and Grace Briggs, Return to Me. This is my favorite movie of all time. Sweet, romantic, funny, and a beautiful soundtrack. Grace needs a heart transplant and receives one, and that’s where the conflict begins. My favorite line comes from the late Carroll O’Connor. He tells Bob (David Duchovny) “When Grace met you, her heart beat for the very first time.”
George W. and Laura Bush. Yes, I’m a Republican, but this is about marriage. They have the perfect story for a bestselling romance. He was a wild, partying rich bachelor and she was a librarian with a personal heartbreak. (She had been involved in an auto accident as a teen that resulted in a fatality.) When he needed taming, she was there with her gentle way, and he listened. Swoon.
Clark Kent and Lois Lane. This couple has had my attention since middle school. He’s the best thing for her and right under her nose. She comes off as independent but needs his rescue every time.
Jesus and His Bride: Oh, I know. Not a typical couple. The Bride is His church, and I don’t mean the building. I mean me. And you, if you know Him in a personal way. The closer you draw to Him, the more you learn. He is romantic, passionate. Hysterical. Kind. A gentleman. Patient. Rich.Forgiving. No matter the season, all He wants is for us to save a place for Him on the couch so He can tell us about His day.
Now that’s love!
4 Reasons to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
It’s that time of year again! Where love blooms, the color red and pink are abundant, fresh roses are on every street corner and chocolates are out of stock in a matter of minutes. Valentine’s Day has a lot of enemies and a lot of fans. Whether you are a naysayer or supporter here are a few reasons to celebrate the day of love this year:
Show you care: Yes we know you should always show your loved one that you love them all year long, but why not make one day a year extra special. Show them you love them by doing something above and beyond your normal affections. It can be as simple as making them a card, buying a single rose or taking them to their favorite restaurant for a romantic meal.
Your excuse to dress up: At one point moms and wives were once high heel wearing, make up loving, hair doing women. And then life caught up with us. Work, kids, marriage and family. Wearing sweatpants is comfortable and all but Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to get all gussied up and feel extra saucy. So go book reservations at that little restaurant down the road or salsa dance lessons now!
Rekindle the flame: Sometimes marriage can be tough. We all go through a rough patch where love somehow gets mixed up and lost in your busy lives. This holiday is for those who need a little push in the right direction. There are cards, flowers, chocolates and restaurants and balloons to your aid. Pick your passion and it’s just up to you to open your heart and enjoy spending time with that loved one.
Eat Chocolate: There is only one time a year that devouring a box of chocolates is socially acceptable. Valentine’s Day is that lucky day. So don’t hesitate, ignore that diet plan and dive into those chocolate covered strawberries.
No matter your stance on this ‘Hallmark’ Holiday,why hate on a holiday that is devoted to spreading love and being happy. Plus, it never hurt to tell the person you love, that you in fact do love them. Happy Valentine’s Day!