How Surrender Saved My Marriage
By Teresa Tysinger
A special thank you to Julie for allowing me to share with you today!
It is my belief that surrender happens at the cusp of time when hope is at a low and desperation is at a high. It usually happens on our knees as we shake under the burden of whatever we must give up to God. At least, that’s my personal experience.
My husband and I married young, at twenty-one to be exact. Blinded by young love, attraction, and a feeling that we had everything figured out. I realize now what babies we were. (We joke with our parents now, asking what they were thinking allowing us to wed so young!) I supported him as he finished college, he supported me through graduate school, we bought a house and had a baby. But seven years in to our marriage, things were falling apart.
Though I was fully aware of my husband’s love of professional theater and his lofty ambitions, I began to resent the long hours spent on shows – often on the road for months at a time. When he was home, we argued. I felt abandoned, which led to unfair nagging and complaining all the time. We had no idea how to reconcile our different expectations for life together. Finally, we both acknowledged this was not the marriage we wanted. We both began to consider that life might be better apart. It was a heart-wrenching time when finding a solution felt impossible.
Then God began to reveal an escape route. My husband was offered a job in Dallas, Texas – which felt like a million miles away from our home in North Carolina. My exact words, I believe, when he first told me about the opportunity was, “I’m never moving to Texas.” Oh, I’m embarrassed now at my lack of faith!
During this time, we had the least hope and a lot of desperation (and fear, anger, resentment). We decided to lean on the reminders of our family and church friends. We took time to pray. I prayed fervently that God soften my heart. That he CHANGE me in ways I could not change myself. I prayed for my husband, too, of course. And I’m sure he prayed for me.
Then, something amazing happened.
We moved to Texas. We surrendered our own understanding, our own desire to write our story, our fear that expectations might not be met according to our plan. If you ask either of us even today, we’d both say we didn’t want to move to Texas. Even after landing in the Lone Star State, neither of us wanted to be there. Yet, daily, we surrendered to the peace we both felt – undeniable peace – with the decision to move. We trusted God wanted us here. In a place we’d both found jobs to keep us together, with our daughter, working in the same town.
In Texas, we had no choice but to lean on one another for support. The fresh start brought challenges that solidified us as a family unit. We found a marriage counselor and worked on our struggles in therapy for over a year.
And, we fell in love. I sometimes tease him now that the first time we “fell in like,” but eight years later we finally “fell in love.” Through the struggles, we experienced what love really is.
Surrendering does not always mean things will have a fairy tale ending.
We’re still in Texas four years later. I’d never in a million years believed we’d still be here. Interestingly, during these four years, my husband even travelled to New York City for 10 months to work on Broadway. But thanks to the hard work we did to reroute our relationship and lean on God at the center, I was able to happily support him through it without resentment or anger.
To many people, surrender is a word synonymous with defeat or weakness. Yet, surrendering my marriage to God’s will feels like the bravest thing I’ve ever done. In my moment of greatest weakness, down on my knees, I found the strength to reach up.
Though I can’t find the person with whom to credit it, I adore this quote and would like to leave you with the thought:
“Transformation happens on the other side of surrender.”
What do you need to surrender to God? How might God transform you through surrender to Him?
Teresa Tysinger is a wife and mother transplanted from North Carolina to North Texas. When not working as the Director of Communications for a large downtown church, she writes charming southern romances inspired by grace. As a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Religious Communicators’ Council, and the Association for Women in Communications, Teresa has spent over a decade committed to telling stories of faith through written word. She loves coffee, caramel, and stories with happy endings.
Connect with Teresa:
Twitter – https://twitter.com/tmtysinger
Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/teresatysinger/
Tags: author, counseling, expectations, How Surrender Saved My Marriage by Teresa Tysinger, Julie Arduini, marriage, marrying young, moving, reconciliation, Surrender Story, Teresa Tysinger, testimony, Texas
Julie Arduini reviews Every Bride Gets Confused by Janice Thompson.
Small-town girl Katie Fisher is busy planning her fairy-tale wedding. Sure, her boyfriend hasn’t managed to pop the question just yet, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t enter a contest in Texas Bride magazine to win the dress of her dreams, right? Anyway, she’s sure he’ll be getting down on one knee any time now. And a one-of-a-kind designer dress doesn’t just fall out of the sky right when you need it.
But when Katie’s boyfriend takes a job in another town and breaks up with her–on the very same day she wins her dream dress–her world is turned upside down. Dare she go to Dallas to claim her prize? And will the hunky pro basketball player who runs the beyond-swanky bridal shop–yeah, you read that right–discover her humiliating secret if she does?
Every Bride Needs a Groom is a sweet romance that was a quick read but continues to hold my attention for all the right reasons. Normally if we knew a Katie, we’d mock her for planning a wedding without being proposed to. But in Every Bride Needs a Groom, it’s easy to feel sorry for her and yearn for her situation with the contest work out. Usually when you read that a NBA player is running a wedding shop, you would think there’s no way. Well, it works. And I was rooting for Brady.
But more than Katie and Brady, I loved the other characters. Brady’s mom. Katie’s brothers. Grandma. Her sister. The pastor. Each have their own story that flows well with the main characters without taking over.
I loved Every Bride Needs a Groom. This is a perfect summer read. Check it out!
To purchase Every Bride Needs a Groom, click here.
I received Every Bride Needs a Groom from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Sergeant Rowdy Slater is the most skilled-and most incorrigible-soldier in Dog Company, 506th PIR, 101st Airborne, an elite group of paratroopers fighting for the world’s freedom in World War II.
Through a bizarre set of circumstances, Rowdy returns to the States after the war, turns his life around, and falls into the only job he can find-preacher at the sparsely populated community church in Cut Eye, Texas, a dusty highway town situated at the midpoint of nowhere and emptiness.
The town’s lawman, suspicious that Rowdy has changed his ways only as a cover up, gives an ultimatum: Rowdy must survive one complete year as Cut Eye’s new minister or end up in jail.
At first Rowdy thinks the job will be easy, particularly because he’s taking over for a young female missionary who’s held the church together while the men were at war. But when a dark-hearted acquaintance from Rowdy’s past shows up with a plan to make some quick cash, Rowdy becomes ensnared due to an irrevocable favor, and life turns decidedly difficult.
Rowdy’s a man used to solving problems one of two ways: with his rifle or with his fists. Will he be able to thwart his old friend’s evil schemes while remaining true to his new higher calling?
This is a wild ride of a book bursting with a bank robbery, kidnapping, desperate prayers, and barroom brawls. Before the smoke clears, all sides just might end up getting exactly what they want.
Marcus Brotherton is a new name to me and as an avid reader, I’m ashamed to admit that. Feast for Thieves is his debut fiction work.
This story starts with action and doesn’t let up. Rowdy is a WWII vet down on his luck when an opportunity to turn things around comes up. He ends up as Reverend Rowdy and he, nor the people of Cut Eye, Texas, will ever be the same.
I didn’t know what to expect when I started Feast for Thieves. I don’t always love post WWII era books. Although I write in first person, it’s very hard to pull off. The voice has to be strong. Rowdy is a character I’m so glad is in first person POV. He’s a strong, multi dimensional character and the author painted an equally strong setting and secondary characters. There’s conflict, humor, bar fights, sermons you won’t forget, and everything in between. I read 2/3 in one evening and would have kept going had I not needed to be somewhere else.
I truly enjoyed Feast of Thieves, and I think you will, too.
To purchase Feast of Thieves, click here.
I received Feast of Thieves from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Marcus Brotherton is a journalist and professional writer known internationally for his books and literary collaborations with high-profile public figures, humanitarians, inspirational leaders, and military personnel. He has authored or coauthored more than 25 books.
Notable works include We Who Are Alive and Remain, a New York Times bestseller, A Company of Heroes, which ranked No. 1 in the country among World War II/Western Front books, and the widely-acclaimed Shifty’s War.
Marcus’ books have been praised by the Wall Street Journal, CNN, MSNBC, Entertainment Weekly, Associated Press, Booklist, Publishers Weekly and more. Critics have called Marcus’s books “…fascinating…” “…brilliantly arranged…” “…magical…” and “…refreshingly frank…”
He has been interviewed by the New York Times, Washington Post, BBC World Today, and The John Batchelor Show, and was featured in the documentary film A Company of Heroes, which aired on PBS stations around the country.
Collaborative works include projects with Lt. Buck Compton (one of the original Band of Brothers), apologist Dr. Ravi Zacharias, NFL quarterback Colt McCoy, psychologist Dr. Nancy Heche, fashion journalist Lauren Scruggs, Austin Stone pastor Matt Carter, Bronze Star winner Colonel Susan Luz, Alabama restaurateur Martha Hawkins, humanitarian Susan Scott Krabacher, speaker Dr. Bruce Wilkinson, youth ministry expert Doug Fields, radio show host Steven Arterburn, First Place weight loss program CEO Carole Lewis, musician Tommy Walker, youth speaker Ryan Dobson, university chancellor Rev. Wayne Cordeiro, and more.
Born in Canada in 1968, Marcus earned a bachelor’s degree in biblical education and journalism from Multnomah University in Portland, Oregon, and a master’s degree in practical theology and writing from Talbot Seminary at Biola University in Los Angeles, where he graduated with high honors.
Marcus lives with his wife and children in Washington State. More information about Marcus can be found online at www.marcusbrotherton.com
Wife. Mom. Author. Reader. Blogger. Amateur nature photographer. Chocolate eater. Encouraging you to surrender the good, the bad, and---maybe one day---the chocolate.
Find me across social media @JulieArduini, and follow me on my Amazon Author Page.
Where Else You Can Find Me
Surrendering Time Series & Recent Releases
Join the Fun