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Transformation: Relationships Need Change by Toni Shiloh

Posted by Julie on April 27, 2017 in ACFW, encouragement, Guest blogger, Life Lessons, surrender, Writing |

I’m so glad to be here today. I wanted to talk about transformation, specifically the ones we experience in relationships. If you’ve been in a relationship, you realize being in a relationship is a transformation all on its own. When two people decide to become one, there’s a growing process that HAS to happen. Not because we want it to happen, but because you can’t put two unique people in a relationship and stay the same. It’s not going to happen.

But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. God created man and woman so that we would not go through life alone. We comfort one another, lift one up when the other is weak. Everything we do should be to help the other be better.

Of course, it doesn’t always happen the way we like. We don’t always see changes in our spouse that we want. But reading about relationship transformation in a fictional book, is highly entertaining and oftentimes, offers us an example for real life. In A Proxy Wedding my story in A Spring of Weddings Collections, Carly James and Damien Nichols discover you have to change in order to be in a relationship. There’s a give and take that must occur in order for it to be successful.

But it’s so hard to do and that’s where God comes in. Without His guidance, His direction, and of course His ability to make us better, relationships would be impossible. It is when our relationship with God is at its best, that our relationship with others improve.

How has being in a relationship with God transformed you?

 

“A Proxy Wedding” releasing in A Spring of Weddings Collection May 3rd!

Blurb: Carly James values loyalty and friendship above all. So when her best friend calls asking her to be a proxy bride, she says, ‘yes.’ How hard can it be to say ‘I do’ so that her best friend can be with the one she loves? Only, Carly never counted on the feelings that began to swirl around with the proxy groom.

Damien Nichols likes life lined up from A to Z, but when his best friend calls in a favor, disorder begins to reign. Instead of taking a quick flight to the proxy wedding, he has to take a road trip with the proxy bride. Carly’s free-spirit attitude bumps heads with his meticulous approach to life. As Damien discovers the woman underneath the carefree façade, his emotions become involved.

Will love become real at A Proxy Wedding?

Bio: Toni Shiloh is a wife, mom, and Christian fiction writer. Once she understood the powerful saving grace thanks to the love of Christ, she was moved to honor her Savior. She writes to bring Him glory and to learn more about His goodness.

She spends her days hanging out with her husband and their two boys. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and the president of the ACFW Virginia Chapter.

You can find her on her website at http://tonishiloh.weebly.com.

 

 

Links:

Purchase: http://amzn.to/2opjTko

Facebook: www.facebook.com/authortonishiloh

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/116452363653059921235/posts

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/tonishiloh

Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/tonishiloh

Bookbub: www.bookbub.com/authors/toni-shiloh

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tonishiloh

Blogs I’m part of: http://puttingonthenew.com  ; http://heartwingsblog.com  ; http://diversitybetweenthepages.wordpress.com

 

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FREE Novella Available

Posted by Julie on March 2, 2017 in About Me, encouragement, God's Word, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, surrender, Writing |

Remember when I said things were pretty busy behind the scenes?

  • I told you about my interview with Blog Talk Radio host Patti Shene and her show, Step Into the Light.

 

  • I announced a new release, FINDING FREEDOM THROUGH SURRENDER-A 30 Day Devotional.

 

MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN was something I included as a thank you to newsletter subscribers who signed up. It’s a contemporary romance about surrendering relationships. What I love about it is it was the first romance I wrote after becoming a Christian. I re worked it a couple years ago and hopefully you will enjoy it. I also am excited because it features the Finger Lakes area, the beautiful region where I grew up in Upstate NY.

How do you access it? Visit the right sidebar of my site (if you are receiving this via email) and it should be right there to click and download. If you have trouble, send me an email at juliearduini@juliearduini.com, or find me across social media @JulieArduini.

 

I have one more announcement coming this week, so stay tuned!

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Gail Goolsby: Will You Accept September’s One-on-One Challenge?

Posted by Julie on August 25, 2016 in encouragement, Guest blogger, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, surrender |

Will You Accept September’s One-on-One Challenge?

by Gail Goolsby

 

Everyone wants to know and be known intimately by someone. We want to have relationships where connections can be quick and meaningful. September is One-on-One Month. Consider what you can do to ramp up your relationship investment.

The most important people in our lives should not have to wonder if we care about current challenges they are facing or achievements they have completed. They should be able to answer affirmatively that when they talk—we truly listen.

How can we experience the most from our meetings and conversations?

How can we communicate our presence, our full attention to the other person?

In Your Face and Off Your Phone

In today’s culture, being physically present and not looking at a phone are keys to quality conversations.

In a 2014 study conducted by Shalini Misra from Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, people were observed from a distance conversing in a coffee shop. More than factors of age, gender, ethnicity, mood, topic, or relationship closeness, the presence of mobile devices impacted the overall satisfaction of interaction between participants. The absence of mobile devices resulted in higher level reports of empathy and superior communication.

With the present technology overload, device-free gatherings are unusual, whether in a restaurant, home, or conference room. The challenge is daunting but vital. Put aside beeping, blinking, tweeting equipment when engaging a person or a group.

Presence is Proximity and Purpose

When we do have the opportunity to connect one-on-one with a friend, family member, co-worker, or employee, we show our desire to be present with:

  • Curiosity (find out something new)
  • Good questions (go for deeper than surface reports on work and activities)
  • Engagement (make eye contact, maintain positive body language)
  • Appreciation (share something valuable about person)
  • Active, responsive listening (don’t interrupt, occasionally check for understanding)
  • Focus (avoid looking around, letting thoughts wander)
  • Humor (tell a funny anecdote to release endorphins for everyone)

Satisfaction for All

Maybe the exchange happens while walking through the neighborhood or during a car ride. Perhaps in a kitchen, park, coffee shop, break room, or child’s room before bedtime.

Wherever, whenever the chat takes place, plan to be present and phone-free and make it a quality time that both of you will enjoy.

Accept the September One-On-One challenge and purpose to have satisfying conversations with the important people in your life. Who will be first on your list?

~+~

GailGoolsbyGail Goolsby, MA, MEd is a lifelong educator, including past leadership at an international school in Afghanistan. Gail and her pastor husband of 38 years live where the wind blows over the prairie in south Kansas. She counsels and coaches using God’s Word to help others learn to live well. www.gailgoolsby.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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iBloom Life and Business Planner Available as FREE August Sample

Posted by Julie on July 30, 2016 in About Me, encouragement, God's Word, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons |
This is what my iBloom Life and Business Planner Looks like.

This is what my iBloom Life and Business Planner Looks like.

Last month I shared how I was an iBloom lurker and this year took the plunge and bought the planner. I was so sold on it that when there was a call out for women to partner with iBloom, I wanted in.

The iBloom Life and Business Planner has been the one tool I keep using as I move forward as an author and speaker. As a wife and mom. Volunteer. Friend.

Great news is, you can try it for FREE the month of August!

iBloom Life & Business Planner Sample

The iBloom Life & Business Planner:

  • Has enough space for me to fill in all my tasks and activities

  • Has monthly accountability with goals, relationships, victories, and more

  • Weekly, monthly, half-year and yearly goals and how they are going. Space to dream and journal

When I first got my planner in the mail, the first thing I noticed was how organized yet comprehensive it is. Every aspect of my life is covered in the planner, but the planner is organized. I’m not overwhelmed, but inspired. I want to hit those tasks and mark them off, not the planner collect dust.

I wasn’t sure I would use the space above each week, but I do. I use that section to write out sermon notes. Already I’m going back to read them. At the bottom of each day is a box. I know some mark off their workout stats. I use it for business mileage. There is just so much to this planner, right down to a holiday guide to keep track of your purchases.

I hope you’ll grab your free sample of this planner while you can! Follow the link to download your August sample now.

iBloom Life & Business Planner AUGUST 2016 SAMPLE

You won’t be disappointed.

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You’re Invited: Share Your Surrender Story in 2016.

Posted by Julie on December 21, 2015 in encouragement, Guest blogger, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, surrender |

I mentioned Saturday that I’m being very intentional in 2016 about how to best get my Surrender Issues and Chocolate messages to the masses. One way is subscribing to the sweet, weekly encouragement delivered straight to your inbox that will start your week right. It’s the Julie Arduini’s Sunday’s Surrender and Chocolate, a short message that will always include a chocolate mention. Want to subscribe for free? Click here.

Share your surrender story here in 2016.

Share your surrender story here in 2016.

Another method I’m using is asking for more guest bloggers to share their story right here. We ALL have a surrender story.

  • Maybe you learned something about time management.
  • Perhaps someone is reading right now that has victory over a life controlling issue like an addiction.
  • Other surrender stories could be financial, relationships, health, parenting, work related, ministry related, about food, pets, gadgets, the list could go on.

I’m not looking for professionals, I’m looking for real people with a story they want to share. These are folks that don’t need to worry about grammar or saying the perfect thing. They simply want to share their surrender story and hope at least one person can relate and be encouraged.

Does that sound like you? I hope so. Because I truly believe everyone qualifies.

To learn more about guest blogging right here, I invite you to read my invitation and sign up. It’s so easy, truly.

Let’s get started.

CLICK HERE.

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Saturday Confession: I’ve Ghosted Before

Posted by Julie on August 29, 2015 in About Me, encouragement, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, Saturday Confession, surrender |

I try as a mom and mentor of sorts to stay on top of the latest terms, crazes and technology. Not to be the cool middle aged lady, but to know what’s out there trying to harm my kids and children I care about. I’d love to say I always know the latest, but often I’m still behind the times.

Like when I heard the term “ghosted.” It was in a picture I saw of Scarlett Johansson. She was accused of ghosting Sean Penn, someone she had been involved with but no longer was. The commenters felt she was icing him out, treating him as if he wasn’t even in the room.

Apparently, that’s ghosting. It’s ignoring the relationship, whether in person, texts or calls. It can be romantic or friendship.

And I’ve ghosted long before it was a thing.

Years ago, I mean YEARS ago there was a boyfriend who disappeared. He went off to college but never said goodbye. I was angry more than anything else.  Everyone had their theories but months later, he came calling. As if this never happened. Talk about ghosting. He flat out disappeared. And when he returned, he asked for my number.

And I gave him the wrong number.

And he knew it.

His last words to me were, “You don’t want me to call you, do you?”

And I said nope and drove off.
Memes.com
As an adult, I’ve been ghosted and I’ve done the same. There’s no good excuse because when it happened to me it was almost as painful as losing my father. I ached. It was a loss that took me a long time to process.  Choices needed to be made outside of my power and who I am and how I live were outside the parameters. Someone had to go. I was an easy elimination to be rid of. I was obviously not as valued as I had valued them. That fact just about did me in.

When I’ve ghosted as an adult, it was never malicious or fun. I simply was at a loss. Either the relationship ran its course and I didn’t know how to communicate beyond what I’d already done, or, the other person required more out of me than I was able to give. Sometimes I ghosted because I gave and gave and gave and nothing changed because the other person was content to stay as is and keep coming me for changes. There were times I backed off because it was too draining, too high maintenance for me to handle. I also became invisible when I realized the relationship wasn’t what I thought it was. I was a crystal ball of sorts, the go-to when there was a crisis or a prayer request. When I was in need of prayer and support, I stood alone against the people I eventually ghosted. Lastly, I ghosted because trust had been broken and we knew it, but I didn’t have the courage to say so. I closed my circle in tighter and moved on.

I’m not proud of it and yet if I had to do it over again, I can’t say I’d act differently just yet. That’s the beauty of Saturday confession. I’m working on it, but I’m not perfect.  I’m simply being transparent enough to share my confession.

Right now in any of those situations I don’t have words that would be comforting. I’d create more hurt with honesty, and I definitely don’t want to lie. So like my wedding song, I Say Nothing at All.

Ghosting. Have you done it? Has it been done to you? Don’t be invisible. Share in the comments.

 



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