Surrender fear, loss, & Change with Julie Arduini

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What 45 Looks Like on Me

Posted by Julie on March 28, 2015 in About Me, encouragement, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, surrender |

Each year around my birthday I take a selfie or have a kid snap a picture and share what I’m experiencing. In this year of “revive” I have another hair change planned and new glasses so I’ll wait and post one from February.

February2015_edited_editedWow. 45. That’s a crazy number. Thirty didn’t bother me because I felt right on track for goals and God’s direction. Forty wasn’t too bad because the thirties had been tough, tough years in many ways.

Forty-five?

That’s inching to fifty. Yikes!

I’m at a place where we have a teen driving and getting college mail. Our talks aren’t about Blue’s Clues and dogs, they are about relationships, faith and the future. We watch Vines and Jimmy Fallon.

We also have a tween and this year especially we’ve noted the change. She wears headphones a lot and retreats to her room. She’s finding me more often for girl chat, if she looks for anyone at all. She’s caring more about her appearance and rolling her eyes more than I like (because even once is more than what I like.)

My husband and I are talking about parents and hospital stays. When is a pet’s life no longer quality. Parts of the job that aren’t fun. Grown up stuff that isn’t full of laughs.

Then there are the changes. New home and transition. Being published and trying to savor that but needing to be working on the next thing, while marketing. Realizing more change is on the horizon.

And being tired.

So very, very tired.

As up to date and current as I’d like to think I am, and our son’s friends are kind enough to play around, I feel that age, especially with bad knees. There are times I see more of my chiropractor than my husband and that’s sad. The supplements I take doubled since last year. I can’t stay up as late as I have in the past, not without a mandatory nap the next day.

It’s a transition time and that’s a little scary, but what is secure in my life—my faith and family, that gives me the courage to take a breath and move forward.

That’s 45 on me.

What about you? What does your current age look like on you?

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Agreeing with God’s Plan by Julie Arduini

It’s been so fun reading these guest thankful posts with you. The month is almost over, and although I faced obstacle after obstacle working on my NaNoWriMo novel (my word count is on the right sidebar if you want to see how challenged I am,) I wanted to chime in with my thankful thoughts.

I posted this as my Facebook status Thanksgiving day:

I choose thankfulness! My broken wrist and eventual surgery taught me to wait on His timing. A major shakeup at my home church taught me church family can’t be confined to a building, because we are all one Body. In many things this year I realized the measure of moving forward with favor and acceleration was in tandem to how I walk in grace and forgiveness. What felt hopeless now is a thriving situation with the kids. I’m thankful that although to me He seemed four days late, He was and will always be right on time. These truths are what I feast on, and I’ll wear fat pants for the food!

I’d like to expand on that.

It’s been a tough year. I realized my wrist surgery symbolized my 2012. It took a plate and screws to heal me.  My wrist looks the same, but it’s not. It will never be as it was.

That speaks to much in my life right now. Everything looks as it was in 2011, but it isn’t. My guess is my life is in a paradigm shift,something I’ve realized the faster I embrace it and stay thankful, the faster God blesses. My knee jerk reaction to change is to:

A. Freak Out

B. Run Miles Ahead of God to guarantee success, only to fail miserably.

I treated the transitions with fair amounts of A and B. I started making lists of all the prayers and declarations I needed to make. As Godly as it sounded, it wasn’t the right way to handle things. In fact, I was ready to run so far ahead that God reminded me that I was in Sarah Plan B mode- and for Sarah-her making things happen created an Ishmael of a situation.

Not good.

So what was I supposed to do?

God was and remains clear. For all the crazy plans, deep prayers, and reactions to this year, God has asked me to do one and only one thing.

Agree with His plan.

That’s it.

When I pray for people, I name them and say I agree with His plan for them.

When I pray for my country, I agree with His plan, even though I don’t understand it.

When I pray for my church, I name it and agree with His plan, even though things could shake further, or maybe not, but either way, I have to trust Him.

I agree with His plan for people I don’t see as often as I used to.

I agree with His plan for people where their choices or words or combination were like kicks in the gut to me.

I agree with His plan for the school the kids attend.

I agree with His plan for my husband.

I agree with His plan for our marriage.

I agree with His plan for my writing and other ministry.

Get the picture?

Don’t worry, I don’t all the time either. I make myself agree with His plan as part of my everyday speech. Everytime I do that, it becomes a little bit easier.

Which wasn’t anything like this year. How about you?

 

 



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