Saturday Confession: Not Strong Enough

My confession this week stems from my Facebook status. Although the frustration has passed, I know the exhaustion isn’t just my confession. We’ve all been there. This week it felt extra heavy.  The rejection and loneliness has been harder than usual to handle. So I vented. Can you relate?

For all I do post here, there is much I do not share because it is in process, not just about me, or too raw. Every once in awhile it’s a small thing that breaks me to reveal the bigger issue. Yesterday I had to deal with a mom thing that has been ongoing and frustrating and it was the last straw. In the end it was an 8 tissue quiet time where I confessed I’m not strong enough to do this—any of it. I’m not equipped to handle the situations and people before me. The process to make me more Christ-like, the rejection and loneliness, is crushing. It is hard to serve, pray, decree and wait. It is unbearable when few understand and it feels like even fewer care.

tumblr_lurzr9AXmu1qhzpkto2_500Once I poured it all out I had a bed full of tissues, a headache, but a freedom that I didn’t stuff it. I let God have it because He is equipped and strong enough. And that “I can’t do this” cry brings me one step closer to breakthrough. I have to believe that. And today is a new day where I start the small and big stuff all over again.

My friends, don’t give up. (more…)

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