Will You Accept September’s One-on-One Challenge?
by Gail Goolsby
Everyone wants to know and be known intimately by someone. We want to have relationships where connections can be quick and meaningful. September is One-on-One Month. Consider what you can do to ramp up your relationship investment.
The most important people in our lives should not have to wonder if we care about current challenges they are facing or achievements they have completed. They should be able to answer affirmatively that when they talk—we truly listen.
How can we experience the most from our meetings and conversations?
How can we communicate our presence, our full attention to the other person?
In Your Face and Off Your Phone
In today’s culture, being physically present and not looking at a phone are keys to quality conversations.
In a 2014 study conducted by Shalini Misra from Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, people were observed from a distance conversing in a coffee shop. More than factors of age, gender, ethnicity, mood, topic, or relationship closeness, the presence of mobile devices impacted the overall satisfaction of interaction between participants. The absence of mobile devices resulted in higher level reports of empathy and superior communication.
With the present technology overload, device-free gatherings are unusual, whether in a restaurant, home, or conference room. The challenge is daunting but vital. Put aside beeping, blinking, tweeting equipment when engaging a person or a group.
Presence is Proximity and Purpose
When we do have the opportunity to connect one-on-one with a friend, family member, co-worker, or employee, we show our desire to be present with:
- Curiosity (find out something new)
- Good questions (go for deeper than surface reports on work and activities)
- Engagement (make eye contact, maintain positive body language)
- Appreciation (share something valuable about person)
- Active, responsive listening (don’t interrupt, occasionally check for understanding)
- Focus (avoid looking around, letting thoughts wander)
- Humor (tell a funny anecdote to release endorphins for everyone)
Satisfaction for All
Maybe the exchange happens while walking through the neighborhood or during a car ride. Perhaps in a kitchen, park, coffee shop, break room, or child’s room before bedtime.
Wherever, whenever the chat takes place, plan to be present and phone-free and make it a quality time that both of you will enjoy.
Accept the September One-On-One challenge and purpose to have satisfying conversations with the important people in your life. Who will be first on your list?
Gail Goolsby, MA, MEd is a lifelong educator, including past leadership at an international school in Afghanistan. Gail and her pastor husband of 38 years live where the wind blows over the prairie in south Kansas. She counsels and coaches using God’s Word to help others learn to live well. www.gailgoolsby.com
This is it! All week I’ve been sharing my posts from the Facebook Love Your Spouse Challenge. I hope you’ve been encouraged and wanting to apply oneness to your marriage. It’s worth it. Not easy. Worth it.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE CHALLENGE, DAY 7
Here we are. In a couple weeks we celebrate our 20th. There were people who questioned the age difference or the fact I was entering in a ready-made family. We went through infertility, miscarriage, parent deaths, job changes, near death of child and then the day-to-day.
We are not a perfect couple. In all honesty, this has been a tough year. We both changed our work situations. We had a child marry and a child graduate. We lost a beloved parent. Just one is what specialists suggest a couple go through in a year. Not all of them. We are both all or nothing personalities and we are both introverts. Affection is not natural for me, and he can be technical. We have different perspectives as parents, especially with medical issues. These truths are challenges.
But, God. We get each other’s jokes and laugh. The jokes we have are precious and goofy. We don’t get away a lot, so our hot tub dates are how we catch up on what’s going on, talk finances, schedule, etc…
We might get annoyed by failure to close cupboards or slurping, but if someone comes against one of us, we have each other’s back. If there’s a good action movie at the cheap theater, we’re all over it.
If you’re contemplating marriage or aren’t quite at year 20, realize those day 1 challenge pictures won’t look the same on day 7. You won’t be the same, either. I pray you are better, stronger, and more committed to oneness than you are right now. It is truly worth it.
Goodreads Giveaway…don’t miss out!
I’m winding down sharing the Love Your Spouse Challenge, Day 6, from Facebook. Chances are you’ve been discouraged. That you’ve prayed for something and wondered if God ever heard. Be encouraged! We saw so many prayers answered as we watched Tom’s daughter marry and we interacted with so many people from Tom’s first marriage. It was a blessing and one of the highlights of my own marriage. Read on!
Love Your Spouse Challenge Day 6.
I was tagged by Susan and anyone who would like to play, please do! This is from 2011, Mandy’s wedding. It was a beautiful event on a beautiful day where I saw prayer after prayer answered.
Even now I look back and think about what Rocky said. I have gaps. Tom has gaps. Together, we got no gaps.
I’d love for you to win, but you can’t if you don’t enter! Click to learn more.
Summer . . . a time that kids pine for during the school year and parents may anticipate with something akin to dread. Fearing refrains of “I’m bored” or hours spent on the couch playing video games can make moms and dads nervous about the long, hot months stretching before their family. Focus on the Family’s Odyssey Adventure Club offers an answer, encouraging parents and kids to embrace faith and fun with the Take the Plunge Adventures in Odyssey Clubhouse magazine’s Summer Challenge.
Take the Plunge
The Take the Plunge challenge features:
- Master Mind Monday — commit God’s Word to memory
- Ways to Play Wednesday — spend active time with your family
- Faith Sharing Friday — share God’s love with others
The Take the Plunge challenge helps families memorize at least five verses, engage in five activities together and share their faith with five people before the school doors swing open again. Those who sign up will receive an 11-week plan with suggested verses to memorize, activity ideas (such as visiting a war memorial) and ways to witness (such as passing out popsicles at the park with an invitation to your church), making this challenge the perfect tool for parents who want summer to be a time of spiritual and social stimulation for their kids.
“Research tells us that the more senses we involve when teaching children a principle, the more likely it is to stick,” Plugged In editor and Adventures in Odyssey podcast host Bob Smithouser says. “Bible memorization by itself is great, but it becomes even more powerful when put into action. Know it. Share it. Live it.”
Families who sign up to take part in the challenge at www.whitsend.org/summer will have access to weekly verses to memorize, ideas for family fun and suggestions for service projects that allow a family to share their faith. Additionally, anyone who signs up to participate in the Take the Plunge challenge will receive a free scene from the latest Adventures in Odyssey album, as well as a free story from the book Strange Journey Back.