Marriage Monday: My Story on the “S” Word

It’s Marriage Monday! e-Mom wants to hear from you, so take a look, write your post, and link up.

Here’s your chance to tell us what you’ve learned about submission in Christian marriage.

I know that for some women, this is a particularly challenging topic. If you’re uncomfortable with this one, no worries. Feel free to take a pass this time around.

However, if you’re ready to dive right in—but stumped as to how to begin—you might consider selecting one of the following writing prompts.

1. Define the Greek word for submission, “hupotasso” [hoop-ot-as-so].
2. Tell us a story. Show how your submissive attitude blessed your husband on a specific occasion.
3. Expound this biblical passage: Ephesians 5:22-33.
4. Discuss what the Bible has to say about submission outside of marriage e.g. to bosses, political leaders, and other authorities.

Or, you can cover this topic from whatever angle the Spirit leads.

You don’t need to twist my arm to tell a story, and perhaps, this is a story you’ve heard before. But I think it breaks down how simple submission is and hopefully wiped away the many, many misconceptions about it. Too many husbands use the word to treat their wives like a doormat, and too many women live independently within marriage. Before I get into my story, let me say this, I love submission in marriage. You know me well enough to know I’m not a doormat. I get my say, a lot. And yet, it’s important I not trump my husband and take over. We are a team. Yet, submission in part means as head of the home, he’s got to answer to God about how he did. I don’t envy that. But I do want to encourage him in the role. And I believe I’ll have to answer to God about how well I cheered him on.

So here’s my story.

A few years ago we were invited to a wedding out of state. I felt because of the relationship my husband had to the groom, we should go. My husband, knowing what a toll a trip would take on finances and our time with two kids, felt we should decline.

It would be tempting for me to nag on him and keep at him about how important attending would be. Trust me, I wanted to. I could see long-term, and going felt right.

But I felt that gentle nudge of the Lord request I stay silent and be prayerful.

Less than 48 hours later, my husband approached me.

“I just got a call. We’re not just asked to the wedding, I’ve been asked to be in it, as best man.”

That changed everything. He saw what an honor the request was and we both agreed to make the budget work so we could attend and my husband be in it. We had the best time, despite the many miles and short time span.

That’s submission to me. We work as a team. I give my input, but he’s allowed final say. And 99% of the time, he agrees with my input and goes with it. For that rare 1%, it’s up to me to give him that freedom to do what he believes is best on behalf of the family. Sadly, a lot of husbands take this as a pass to do what is best for them personally. That’s not how it works.

When he does something different, it’s my job to let God be God. Perhaps his choice is best, and we’ll be blessed. If he’s wrong, it’s not right to say I told you so. It’s a teachable moment for all of us.

If I allow God to work.

How about you? What are your thoughts on submission?

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