The Perfect Iron, a Christmas Devotional

This was first shared at the HTC Women Casual Christmas Cookies and Cocoa event, December 2023

I was ten years old when Christmas bottomed out for our family. Although we didn’t give our situation a name at the time, alcoholism was destroying our lives one sip and forgotten promise at a time.

The tension was palpable. I even remember our Peekapoo, Pookey, walking tentatively around the house, never knowing when yelling would start.

We probably all walked that way.

Despite the fear that honestly has my gut health impacted to this day, somehow I managed to have some cash on hand to buy our mom something for Christmas. I suspect it was a job assigned to me, assigned by my Dad, me and my sister. I took that job seriously. No matter the tension, no matter the state of my parent’s marriage, it was going to be the perfect Christmas because mom would receive the perfect gift.

I ended up buying an iron. It felt like such an upgrade to the trinkets I bought in years past at the school store. I wrapped that beauty up and made sure it had a prominent place under the tree. I knew, I felt it in my bones, this present was going to change everything and bring peace to the chaos.

I don’t recall Christmas Eve what transpired, but I can guess that there was alcohol and a verbal skirmish involved. I do recall feeling like we were living inside a pressure cooker, and that lid was about to blow. That present under the tree for Mom glowed in my eyes. It was going to turn everything around. It was going to be perfect.

Christmas morning, Dad asked who should go first.

And my ten-year-old self blurted,

“Mom, do you want to open your iron now?”

I heard what I’d done as soon as iron was said.

To me, I ruined the only good thing that was going to take place that year. No perfect Christmas. No perfect family.

I was crushed. There was laughter, but not the kind that deflated the tension.

I hated that Christmas.

I also don’t love to iron. But maybe that’s me.

Why do I share this story?

Because when I look at some of my favorite Christmas movies, from Arthur’s Perfect Christmas to Christmas Vacation to Christmas with the Kranks—perfection is the goal. As an author, I can share what drives a good story or movie. Conflict. And any time a person strives for perfection at Christmas—whether believing an iron will serve as a magic wand to heal a hurting family—or Griswold exterior Christmas lights being the symbol of a perfect family celebration as hilariously played out in the movie Christmas Vacation-–disappointment is coming.

—Julie Arduini

I don’t know all your personal lives but I know Christmas magnifies loss. Change. Financial troubles. Job transition. Relationship issues. Grief. Depression. Anxiety.

If you don’t surrender this season—your life—and all you are and dealing with to Jesus—you’re going to burn faster than my mom’s iron. Perfection isn’t attainable. We aren’t Jesus. If you’re spending more money than you have to delight a child or grandchild who needs to hear they are loved, and told about Jesus and His love, are you really celebrating the reason for the season? If you’re staying up past midnight to ice those cookies so they look bakery perfect, chances are you’re bleary-eyed and miserable. If this is your Christmas with the kids who otherwise split their time elsewhere, are you planning, planning, planning so every moment is filled and just perfect but your insides are tied in knots?

Maybe it’s time we look at my iron and put down the expectations. Give up the fantasy that you can create a perfect Christmas. Mary didn’t birth her Savior in a penthouse suite at the Hilton. Nothing about His birth sounds perfect except the Child. He was born in a feeding trough in a barn during a time the Israelites were oppressed and baby boys were hunted to be killed.

If Mary, Joseph, wise men, angels, and shepherds can rejoice at such a less than environment, can’t we?

In Ecclesiastes 4:6, ESV it states,  “Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.”

If our focus is on Jesus and His birth, all the wonder that comes with it, we should be glowing this season. But out of worry and stress do we often look like wrinkled pants in need of my mom’s iron? If my family back then had known Jesus as a Savior with warm, open, loving arms, I suspect our lives would have looked different, even if alcoholism was present. I feel sad for that little girl that was me, and for anyone today who feels the same.

If we put Jesus first, I can’t promise there won’t be adversity or the unexpected. I can promise His peace will pass all understanding. A peace I can’t even define, and I love words. If you’re trying to plan events, juggle the calendar, buy the stuff to fill the fear, chaos, or pressure, whatever it is thinking you must make the perfect Christmas, my prayer is you find me or one of the team tonight and ask us to pray with you.

Ladies, ditch my childhood iron and the perfect expectations you should not be putting on yourself. Place everything about you and your daily life at the feet of Jesus. And have yourself a Merry Christmas.