Thankful: Excerpts from My Memoir by B.J. Bassett

My Story

Excerpts from my Memoir

            “Mom, you should write your story . . . about how you broke the cycle of alcohol addiction in your family. You’re the transition generation,” my daughter, Melanie, said.

            “It’d be too painful.”

            Yet, I was between writing projects. Maybe I’ll give her suggestion a try. If it becomes too hard, I can always stop. Maybe it will even be a catalyst for more healing.

             So I began.

 

My beautiful mother, Launalee (later she changed the spelling to Launalei) had a Betty Grable figure and auburn hair. An extravert with oodles of friends, she was scared by her parent’s divorce when she was fifteen. Her three brothers were also marred by it. Divorce was not the norm in 1930s Bremerton, Washington.

Daddy, an introvert, came from a very different childhood as the third son growing up in a small town in Minnesota. His mother wanted a girl. His sister Phyllis was born seven years later and they always shared a close relationship.

Jobs were scarce in 1937, so Daddy joined the Navy. He met my mother at a dance in Bremerton, Washington.

When my parents planned to be married, Granddad Harkness put a stop to it. “My daughter will not marry a sailor.” So they waited until Daddy was out of the Navy. They married in 1939 and I was born the following year. I always felt loved.

When I was ten and my little brother Danny was two, my parents came home in the wee hours of the morning. Mama woke me and pushed the car keys between my mattress and box-spring. “Don’t tell Daddy where the keys are.”

So it began—Mama putting me in the middle of my parent’s fights.

I don’t remember if Daddy found the car keys or not that night. What I do remember is it was the only time I ever saw him drunk, and it frightened me. He left that night and returned the next day.

There were also many happy times during those years. I attended Sunday school and church with neighbors. I loved everything girly and motherly—especially dolls and my baby brother.

When I was in junior high it was my responsibility to pick Danny up at the baby-sitter’s after school. Mama had told me to put potatoes in the oven before she got home from work. I forgot. When she got home, and realized I hadn’t done what she asked, she slapped me across the face and called me a cross-eyed baboon. Her words hurt worse than the slap. If my own mother thought that of me, what must others think?         (I had a lazy eye.)

Later, when I was a teenager, I came home from one of my church youth events, Mama was drunk. The living-room was full of people. She draped her arm over my shoulder and slurred, “You’re such a good girl. I’ll give you anything you want. Do you want a car? I’ll buy you a car.”

“No, Mama.”

I never took advantage of her generosity during those times. I knew she was drunk and wouldn’t remember what she’d said the next day. She was a happy drunk. It was years later that she became a mean one.

 

So Melanie, I took your suggestion and wrote about how I broke the cycle of alcoholism in my family. God gave me the gift of not liking the taste of alcohol, and I’d witnessed how it destroyed lives. He also pursued me from the beginning of my life. He put saints in my life to minister to me. He never gave up on me, and has never left me in all these years. I am grateful.

            I don’t want to paint Nana and Papa as all bad. While growing up there were more good times than bad, and they had some wonderful qualities. I wish I had inherited Nana’s generosity and Papa’s playfulness. He was always a good provider, even when money was tight. A hard worker, he balanced work with play. Although they were both somewhat selfish, they were also giving. (If that’s possible.) I felt loved by them, yet it seemed conditional—if I was a good girl and obeyed. It was from God that I felt unconditional love.

            I believe I am who I am because God never let go of me. He saved my soul, put Christian saints in my life, and I learned from my parents—the good and the bad. I was, and am, blessed.

 

BIO: B.J. Bassett encourages others as an author, teacher and speaker. Her books include a historical novel Lily; A Touch of Grace—The G.R.A.C.E. Ministries Story, and coauthor of My Time with God which sold 55,000 copies while in print. Her recently released contemporary romance, Gillian’s Heart, is now available.

Email: bassett106@charter.net

Website: www.bjbassett.com

Blog: http://bjbassett.wordpress.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bunny.bassett

Gillian’s Heart

Abandoned as a child by her alcoholic parents, Gillian Grant was raised by her grandmother in a beach house in California. As an adult, in tribute to Gram’s memory, Gillian wishes to restore the house to its former splendor. But she can’t do it alone, and hires Dusty Bradshaw to help her.

Gillian and Dusty have nothing in common, except the restoration of the house. Gillian suffers from anorexia and is in denial. While she has a strong faith in God, Dusty is an unbeliever. Add to the complicated mess Gillian’s confusing feelings for her childhood friend Josh and the sudden, unwanted appearance of Gillian’s mother Betsy, who claims the house is hers. And she intends to sell it.

Gillian always dreamed of her wedding in her grandmother’s garden overlooking the Pacific. Will there be a wedding? Who will capture Gillian’s heart—her stable, longtime friend Josh—or Dusty, a new Christian, who has kept secrets from her? And who holds the deed to the house?

Purchase Gillian’s Heart HERE