Book Review: Don’t Go to Bed Angry Stay Up & Fight by Deb & Ron DeArmond
We’ve all been there. He doesn’t understand what you are really upset about. She blows things out of proportion. Neither of you can agree on the right course of action. In every marriage, there is conflict. And with every conflict, there is a choice for resolution. Will you ignore the issue until it seemingly goes away? Or will you work together to find peace?
In Don’t Go to Bed Angry, Deb and Ron DeArmond give you permission to fight. Fight it out. Conflict isn’t the problem, after all; the real issue is how we deal with the conflict. Combining a healthy dose of personal experience with relationship-affirming biblical wisdom, Deb and Ron demonstrate how communication through conflict can lead to greater insight and understanding of thoughts, feelings, and perspectives that can safeguard—and even strengthen—your relationship. Immensely practical features including worksheets, discussion questions, callouts, and prayers make this a definitive go-to resource to help you start fighting—together—for your marriage.
If only I had this book in my hands 20 years ago! Don’t Go to Bed Angry Stay Up and Fight is chocked full of information, case studies from real couples, statistics, anecdotes, prayers, conversation starters and much more.
I especially appreciated the acronyms, they were very helpful for me. For example, if you are entering/in conflict and you ask your spouse how they are and they say, “Fine,” this is what they share:
F-Feelings
I-Inside
N-Not
E-Expressed
That’s just one tidbit. I also liked how they dissected one conflict and took it back to their childhoods, personalities, and reactions now to conflict. It helped me a lot.
Each chapter has a He Said/She Said section, Put on the Gloves Discussion, and God Said, a place where Scripture is used to help direct the conflict. They make it clear they aren’t rooting for couples to fight, and they clearly spell out what is abuse and that is never right, but that conflict is a healthy thing.
I think any couple would benefit from this, but I especially pray newlyweds and couples married under ten years really get this book and take heed. It could make a difference between a healthy marriage and divorce papers.
About the Authors:
Deb DeArmond is an author, speaker, and coach with a focus on communication, relationships, and conflict resolution. Her writing explores marriage, parenting, in-law and extended family relationships. She is the author of Related By Chance, Family By Choice and I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last. Deb is the founder of Living-Write, where she coaches aspiring authors. She’s monthly columnist and feature writer for Lifeway’s Mature Living Magazine, and has published more than 120 articles online and in print publications.
Ron DeArmond has a hungry heart for the Word, and has studied the Bible for 45+ years. Ron’s call to serve men is evident in his previous ministry positions with Christian Men’s Network under Dr. Edwin Lewis Cole and Faithful Men Ministry. Ron is currently the Associate Pastor of men’s ministry at Catch the Fire/ DFW and has ministered around the world. The DeArmonds live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
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I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
