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Saturday Confession: The Brave Earmuffs

Posted by Julie on January 10, 2015 in About Me, encouragement, Julie Arduini, Life Lessons, Saturday Confession, surrender |

Growing up, I believed a lot of things.

  • I was fat and lazy and of no worth to anyone
  • I was meant to stay in the background and have little to no voice
  • I would always be the smart one, good for an answer, but never the option for the opposite sex

After awhile, I shut down and used all my dreams for my characters. I wore the colors I was told I should adopt and the length of hair and style suggested for me.

Deep down, way deep down, I wanted to be the bold one.

  • The girl with fire-engine red hair and spunk to match
  • The one who could be counted on for a smart answer and a smart man by my side
  • The one who could embrace color in everything about me

earmuffsI’ve come a long way since then and God has really transformed me. My hair has the red and I definitely have a spunk about me. As I’ve watched the so-called pretty girls find man after man, marriage and then divorce, I’m closing in on twenty years with the same man. Something I never dared dream.

But more than that, God gave us a child that doesn’t have the fears I was shackled by. Even in the womb she had sass, moving everytime the doctor tried to get a heartbeat. Refusing to reveal herself until she was ready to debut her gender. At five days old she pushed me to a better position for nursing. She has her own drum, and she’s not afraid to use it.

She’s also had to fight for things I never had to. Like her very life. School isn’t easy for her. But even as I’m watching her evolve into a young lady where she’s paying more attention to her hair and overall appearance, she’s got that flair for boldness I wanted so much as a kid.

Like the earmuffs.

She wanted earmuffs over Christmas break when it was in the 50’s. She knew we were going to have a cold spell and she looked between Upstate NY, PA and Ohio in our travels for a pair. There weren’t any. We return home and she went to the local Justice store and there they were.

The boldest, most confident ear muffs I’ve ever seen.

They draw attention, let me tell you. And I’m watching those that see her with them on.

They aren’t smiling out of mockery.

They applaud her boldness and confidence.

And dare I assume, I think they want a pair, too.

Looking at those ear muffs, I realized how much she’s changed me. I now look for things that sparkle and have some pizazz. I too looked for ear muffs but came out with a little more mainstreamed look. But honestly?

I can feel it deep down, just like I did as a kid.

I want to wear her ear muffs.

See what it’s like to wear cat, furry ears in bold colors.

Do a little cat walk with bravado.

Will I?

Probably, but most likely you’ll never see it.

But it will be my little victory, and I’m going to savor it.

Meow.

 

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2 Comments

  • Tracy says:

    I love this post. Your story resonates with so much of my own life.

    Growing up, we always bought my grandmother BROWN clothes – brown sweater, brown housecoat, etc; and always bought my aunt blue. It wasn’t until after my grandmother died that I learned (in her Grandmother Remembers book) that PINK was her favorite color, but she was always stuck in brown because someone somewhere had once told her that was “her” color. If I’d known that before …

    When I went off to college, my family insisted I get “neutral” colors for bedding and dorm things, because they said my roommates would have neutral stuff too. I ended up with brown ugly sheets. My roommates had powder blue everything.

    But – I bought my own umbrella for college. I was the only one on campus with the rainbow one!! Everyone else had black. LOL!!

    I love color!! (And am typing this while wearing rainbow-colored fingerless gloves. 🙂 )

    Go get you some earmuffs. And some wacky slippers too! 🙂

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