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Saturday Confession: I Want to be Like the Sheriff

You know the old movies where the sheriff is a good guy and you could count on him to do right for the town?

Then, something happens, usually against the woman he loves and all bets are off.

He’s out to make things right, his way.

But he’s still the sheriff.

So when the climax happens, the sheriff takes off his badge, giving him the ability to act in whatever way he wants, and not have to worry about the consequences because he isn’t the law.

But in the end he gets the badge back, and all ends well, except for the bad guy, who is either dead or writhing in pain as he sits in jail.

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I want to be like the sheriff.

The last couple weeks have been extra busy and that makes me tired. Being tired makes me vulnerable. And the conditions are ripe for someone to come in and mess with the people I love.

And I in return want to take my Christian badge off and make things right, my way.

What’s heartbreaking is our daughter seems to be the target. We noticed last month she was withdrawing and I was trying to discern if it was hormones, the stress from the move, or something else. While chatting with Grandma she blurted that a boy was bothering her. As her teacher and I unraveled the last month it seems he was targeting her all day long with mean words and shoving.

And please don’t think I’m so mature that I didn’t want to “Gibbs slap”that kid til Tuesday.

Actually, his parents. Because he learned it from somewhere.

Another instance had an adult greet me by saying her daughter says my daughter talks about the mom. I know this isn’t true, my kid doesn’t know the mom and tries her best to stay away from the kid because there is usually trouble. The mom made it clear my kid better knock it off, or else.

I wanted to knock some stuff off, too.

Because it’s Saturday, I don’t always have the Scriptural answer you might see any other day of the week. It’s my confession and I’m working it through. I want to take that badge off. I want to look at my peers and say, “Excuse me, I need to take the Christian hat off for just a moment.” Find the “villain,” and let the dust roll. Return to my peers, put my Christian hat back on, and carry on.

But it doesn’t work like that.

It will be slow to pass because I am a Mama Bear and I’m sick and tired of our youngest getting targeted, although I know why. She’s a container of joy and the true defeated one is on a mission to rob her. I will exchange my thoughts of what I want to say and do for laying my thoughts down at the cross. Letting the Lord fight her battles, not me.

Since it’s confession Saturday, my mind isn’t quite there yet.

In faith, it will be.

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