Character Confession: Robin’s Mother
A year or so ago I remember reading a book by Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin. I feel bad because there is only one thing I remember about the book, even though I recall it being a good one.
Robin’s mom died relatively young, and she attributed it to the fact that her mom worked herself to death. Literally.
I got the impression she was a Martha type personality, the sister Jesus rebuked for trying to tattle on sister Mary, who wasn’t pulling her share of the workload. I can relate, although I’m much better than I used to be. I become so goal oriented I lose sight of everything else, including my family.
Last weekend the kids were with grandma for spring break. I spent every waking moment switching their bedrooms. Some furniture moved, all clothes, closets, decorations, toys, and more. It was time consuming and at times, backbreaking. I finished with 5 minutes to spare.
I spent hardly any time with my husband.
A week later, I’m still tired, sore, and just generally done.
I keep thinking about Robin’s mom. Was she offered a break? Could she feel her body stopping? Did she keep pushing through?
Because I can feel the limits. It scares me how fast the boundaries show up, saying I need to be done, and don’t dare try to push past.
I’ve been offered a break. I know ten years ago I would have refused, thinking the kids need me. That I’d be selfish to go. I don’t think I could have agreed to the break give years ago, or even three.
This year I’m going. I refuse to be selfish or play a martyr. I’m doing it in part for the kids and our future. I want to be around to enjoy them. As my husband said, he believes the rest will get my focus back. For him to see that tells me how exhausted I am. I don’t want to be like Robin’s mother. I learned a lesson from her story.
I realize not everyone has a chance to get away, my opportunity is thanks to a huge discount. But force yourself to take a break. Everyone must have a support system, tap into it and take a bubble bath. Go to a bookstore alone. Enough to regroup and recharge. Put the boundaries and your body back in place.
Because it’s a sad story that the rest comes–when it’s too late.
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