Those who really know me, and I keep that circle pretty small by design, aren’t surprised by my confession. But lately I’ve had the opportunity to share why I do the things I do the way I do, and it generated good conversation. I thought I’d share here and maybe you might understand the introvert in your life. Or, maybe realize you aren’t alone.
I sit either way up front or way in the back. I’m not anti-social as much as I crave quiet. I have sensitive hearing and can hear whispering and other noises long before anyone else. This goes for gum chewing, popping, opening wrappers, and the like. If I’m in a class, service, or event with a speaker or musicians, I want to gain everything I can from it.
Maybe life applications.
It’s important to me.
And when that event finishes, I’m going back to giving. I share, encourage, write, teach, clean, pay, pray, cook, love, listen, counsel and repeat. Every aspect of my life is ministry to me, a gift back to Jesus. I don’t do any of them perfectly, but with what I have, I give my all.
And then comes Sunday.
That’s my day to recharge. I sit alone a lot because I want to pay attention. What I hear in Sunday School and the sermon is the fuel to take me through the week where I give back. I don’t plan lunches or meetings and I try not to spend it shuffling kids around or being at a store. Once home I’m with the family. Sometimes I nap. Often I’m on my Kindle.
Maybe it’s just me, but my mind is always going. Even when I sleep, I have very vivid dreams that I can recall and they stay with me. I often don’t enter a group conversation because I’m fully engaged analyzing my surroundings or thinking about the next day, the next month, or even the next 20 years.
My least favorite places? Sporting events. Movie theaters. One person called it when they asked if I have personal space issues. I do. I like my space. I prefer quiet. Crowds excite me only if it is large and I’m the speaker. Small groups are hard for me.
Some of that is my personality, but some of this is typical introverted behavior. I used to wish I was that popular girl going from here to there but now when I get an invitation, a lot of the time I decline because it takes more energy than I have at the moment.
Am I normal? I don’t know, but this I do–Jesus promised He was in heaven building His kids their own mansion.
And this personal space, quiet-loving introvert can’t wait.