Character Confession: That Comforts Me

I can’t believe it has been 8 years.

My dad’s been gone that long and yes, time helps, but the grief never ends. It evolves, I think.

 

 

 

 

How can I feel comforted?

It’s a choice.

When my dad was declining fast from lung cancer and few even knew he was battling, he attended a presentation I was in called Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames. I played a girl in an elevator that crashed. I die, but I go to heaven. My elevator companion did not because she refused a personal relationship with Christ. It was her choice.

After the presentation he wasn’t feeling well and went home. But he gave my mom a message for me.

“Tell Julie I will be going where her (my) character went. I have faith.”

A simple statement, but I knew what he was saying. He made it clear he not only had peace in God, he knew His Son in a personal way. It wasn’t full of fanfare, but his confession and belief was just as real.

And that comforts me.

When his life on earth was down to hours, I was able to speak to him in person. It was the last mutual conversation he had, and I was able to give him a tribute. We were not close when I was growing up, and it was not intentional. We made our peace and enjoyed a good relationship in my married years. To be the last to speak to him and let him know I’d see him again? That his job before I get there was to watch over the baby I miscarried and he nodded?

That comforts me.

When the funeral ended and the crowds stopped coming, it was the same time frame I was supposed to move 300 miles away. Good words were hard to come by because so much hurt to say, write, and hear. It took years to understand, but one of the parting things my mom said to me was she wasn’t worrying about me in all this. She knew I had faith. It took me a long time, but I get it now. I wasn’t devoid of mountain and valley experiences in grief and beyond, but she knew I had an Anchor to cling to that some do not have. She knew I’d be okay.

And that comforts me.

When I see traits in my loved ones–facial expressions, hobbies, mannerisms–that remind me of him–

That comforts me.

What gives you comfort when living through grief?

BTW, I recommend Griefshare.org. I went through a lot of loss and share in a short span of time, and this helped. A lot.