I’m a couple days late but moving forward with Patty Wysong’s weekly meme of going through the alphabet. This week? The Letter E.
It was 1997 or 98. I had a couple years of marriage under my belt and was overwhelmed by post partum blues with my firstborn. We were at a new church, reeling from antics board members pulled on the third pastor of the previous congregation. I kept many thoughts to myself but the anger, confusion, and venting were certainly all there.
That particular Sunday a traveling prophet, for lack of a better term, came to the new church. He brought his guitar and sang some nice songs that especially ministered to my husband. He gave a message and invited anyone who felt so called to come to the altar for prayer.
I went, not sure why, not expecting much, but went.
The man, who I did not know and definitely did not know me, lightly touched my shoulder as he began to pray.
In a paraphrase he uttered this—
You keep asking God why you don’t have it easy. You keep looking at the others and they have it easy, but not you. The Lord wants you to know He’s heard you and you’re right. You have had it harder than others and it’s been that way because you know you’re dust in my hands. I’m transitioning you through these hard times where you will be an intercessor that knows she’s dust and knows Me. Because of this you will pray in My name and believe that I can move mountains, and mountains will move. You will ask for big things in Jesus’ name and believe.
Again, that’s a paraphrase and I’m not blogging or entertaining comments on whether you agree with the doctrine or what this man said. I can say this, the man didn’t know me, but God did, and He revealed my heart. I was so frustrated. Women my age fell apart over a bad hair day while I was getting shots in the backside. I near totaled a new van while 10 weeks into a high risk pregnancy. Life didn’t seem fair and I was sick of it.
And God knew.
The easy life never came to me, at least not full time. There were seasons when life was smoother than other times, but what did come to pass was that transition. Those hard times, and they got even worse by 2003, refined me to a place where I believed God. To this day if you ask me for prayer, be ready, because I’m going big or I’m not going at all, and I’m expecting Him to show up. He’s moved mountains. People have let me know they were expecting babies they never thought possible, found expensive medical equipment they thought lost forever, received strength in a situation they thought would be the death of them, and more. That wasn’t me, that was God.
But He had to show me the easy life wasn’t going to be a great life. At least not for me.
I’ve joked that once I’m done sobbing in Jesus’ arms once in heaven, grateful for my eternal home and thankful to hug on my Savior, I’m asking He tour me through the warehouses of my tears. There will be many, I’m certain. They came at a price, and they were experiences I literally wished on others for a long time.
These days, I’m okay when adversity comes. I get that it is an opportunity, but I’m still human. I cringe when I hear the troubles others share and they seem so superficial to me. I don’t wish any harm or bad on anyone, but again, in the flesh I sometimes get upset.
So my E is for EASY, and I pray it is an ENCOURAGEMENT for anyone who feels the distribution for hard times seems stilted. It is. There is a purpose, and if you can surrender to it and trust God, you will have an amazing role in furthering His Kingdom.
Hang in there!