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Guest Blogger Zeke Lam: Submission in Marriage

Julie’s Note: Zeke Lam’s new book, subMission:heeding only His voice, is available and I appreciate his insights on this controversial but important aspect of marriage. Zeke shares the husband’s responsibility in submission, and I think it is worth you taking a look. Want to purchase? Click here.

Submission in Marriage

While this subject has a tendency to be “edgy” in some cases, God’s Word is quite clear concerning submission within the covenant of marriage. Before we discuss the male responsibility and perspective today, let us allow our groundwork to flow from the Word of God.

Ephesians 5: 21-24 proclaim some powerful truths, but we will only focus on two.

1) Submission is mutual- Verse 21 states: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord”

2) Submission has order- Verses 22-24: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands…. For the husband is the head of the wife….. As the church is subject to Christ so let the wives be unto their own husbands in everything.”

Submission is the humble act of obedience. This passage clearly teaches a mutual submission between a husband and wife must be present. Verse 21 makes it impossible for a person to deny this truth. However, as we read on, we clearly see that God has instituted proper order when it comes to marriage and family. This order flows from the husband down.

We must get one thing clear as we continue with this topic in the direction I feel the Lord is leading us. Submission is not some sort of power held by man to have his way. This would be considered abusing the Word of God to make it fit earthly/fleshly desires. Being the head of a house and expecting submission from the wife is about obedience to the Lord and leadership as a man of God.

Here is the point. Husbands, if you want your wife to be submissive to you, she had better see your life submitted to Christ.  Here is the importance of that statement. When she sees you submitting to God’s leading and voice, then her Biblical responsibility of submitting to her husband actually results in her submission to God.

There is no denying the fact that God has entrusted the husband to be the head of the wife. With that being said, there rest a huge responsibility on the husband to be one who faithfully obeys and follows Christ. It is silly to expect a wife to jump at every command of a man who does little to represent Christ. This does not give her an excuse to refuse to submit, but it does make peace in the home much harder to attain.

In closing I will say this from the men’s perspective. We love the privilege of leading. It is what we were born to do. But men, if we do not lead by example, we can expect trouble in the “submission” department. Let your wife see Christ in you daily, and her obligation and command to submit will be peaceful. In doing this, you align your home with a Godly order that will experience blessing.

Here is what others are saying about subMISSION: heeding only His voice—

Prepare to be stirred by this authentic calling to return to Scriptural obedience.

Pastor Gabe Turner, The Point Church of Charlottesville, Virginia

In my opinion Zeke has laid his finger on the defining message for our time. This message is essential for believers everywhere…

Eric Stephens, Pastor of Life Changing Ministries and Fellowship in Sugarland, Texas


What is the greatest challenge that the Church is facing today? Zeke Lam suggests that one word is the greatest challenge:  submission, or the lack thereof. It is not external forces that nullify the testimony of a Christ-centered believer, but rather the failure to humbly submit to the voice of the Lord. This book will help you to live a surrendered life abiding in Christ.

Ø  Is the approval of God more important to you than the approval of man?

Ø  Is the presence of God evident in your life?

Ø  Do you fiercely protect your intimacy with Christ?

Ø  Do you desire to live a life of truth, free from the lies of the devil?

Ø  Is God’s divine character visible to those around you?

Learn how to submit your life wholeheartedly to the Lord so that you can dwell continually in the secret place—a place of intimacy, surrender and joy.


ZEKE LAM is the founder of SUBMISSION Ministries—a ministry devoted to seeing lost souls encounter God and live lives fully surrendered to the risen Christ. A graduate of Liberty University, Zeke’s deep passion for following Christ’s will has led him through many years of youth ministry and itinerant evangelism. Both of these experiences have enriched and fueled his desire to hand others the keys to a Christ-centered life. Zeke resides in Virginia with his beautiful wife, Kathleen, and a growing family of future world-changers.

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