Character Confession: A Divided Heart
It’s Saturday! This is the day I post a character confession.
Next week I believe Elizabeth Mueller is having a character meme but hers is as I would guess, about your characters in a story you are writing. I want to hop on that blogfest and I hope you do, too. However my character confession is about my own character. With that, there is ALWAYS a confession.
My confession is this…
I couldn’t find a perfect graphic but waivering will do. I’m back in Ohio after a week’s stay back in my hometown of Upstate NY. I pulled in the driveway and my husband missed us so much he was waiting for us outside. I love that but hate that my heart feels so divided.
I sound like a Harlequin romance and that isn’t the confession. My confession is I always have trouble switching gears when I return. This year the rolling hills of the Finger Lakes stole my heart and I don’t think they gave them back. I plan to post pictures soon but how I took those hills for granted. They were breathtaking.
I also saw family and friends, great friends. The kids did and saw new things. Each year the bad memories I had of sickness and death become a little less prominent when I travel. Coming back I need to decompress and switch gears and that is hard for me. I explained to my husband I even have to re learn how to drive. In my hometown I’m on constant alert for deer to come springing out from the tall weeds on the side of the road. This year chipmunks were everywhere. The country has roadkill you have to avoid. And yes, there are skunks to watch out for.
I’m not in a big city but I’ve yet to come across a skunk in Youngstown. I have to watch out for people, constant red lights, and Route 80 traffic filled with campers and tractor trailers. It’s a lot for me.
This year I watched family make changes to their home in preparation for changes in their life. I won’t be a part of that scenario on a regular basis and it made it hard to come to terms with as I drove back.
Exhaustion is usually what fuels my waivering, for a couple more years I’m the only driver for this trip. But waivering—having a divided heart with many loved ones in one state while I happily live in another, is hard to reconcile today.
And that is my confession.
Can you relate? I’d love for you to share your story.
I don’t waiver between towns or cities. But I do waiver in other ways. Like today I want to work on WIP, but need to switch gears and clean.
I waiver from one day to the next, from believing in the gift God has given me–and then not so much.
You’ve given me much to think about. Hugs!
Rita, you gave ME a lot to think about. I definitely waiver with those things as well. Thank you for being here and leaving comments. I appreciate all you do.