This is 50

I’m a little late, I had other blogging posts scheduled, but each year I try to write a birthday related post. Well this was a big one. 5-0. Fifty years. Or as one fellow 50 said, “I can’t believe we’re half a century year old.”

That I wasn’t ready for.

But overall, I’m ready for 50. I think 48 and part of 49 was a huge learning curve to prepare me for the new decade. From self doubt to sickness, I had to lay a lot down about my fears, anger, past, and grief to walk through the fifth decade threshold.

And what a blessing because I never thought I’d see a birthday where we are self-isolating during a pandemic. I was so looking forward to going out with friends, something I rarely do as a hardcore introvert. It was still an amazing day, but boy, it felt surreal.

I remember when I turned 30 friends asked if I had a problem with it. Ah, the good old days. I remember I wasn’t. Always a goal oriented person, I was married with a little boy living in a nice home with acreage to run with our dog and play. I had a job I liked, and I believe I was starting to write again for what was a new ministry at my church for moms with young children. I knew who I was and what I was meant to do.

I feel the same about 50. The 30’s ended up being cruel and hard, and 40’s weren’t as traumatic, but it didn’t feel like there was a lot of let up, either. I know more than ever what my purpose in life is, and I’m doing it. It’s more than writing books, it’s encouraging women. It’s praying with and for them. It’s watching them thrive as they surrender all to Christ. For all the buzzes I chased in college, there is no high like watching women soar in Christ. For that, I welcome 50 with open arms.

Julie Arduini

I remain married, and I get not everyone gets to say that. Not only is divorce present in the Body of Christ, but we are in the middle of a pandemic where tomorrow our neighborhood is honoring a family man who lost his life to this horrific virus. I don’t take a day for granted. I haven’t since 2003.

I have two kids at home that I love looking at and knowing all God has seen them through. One is nearly ready to start his adult life apart from us. It’s emotional and scary, but I know with lessons under his belt and more to come, he’s ready. The other has fought for so many things that most of us take for granted. She’s still standing. In high school. A regular classroom earning amazing grades and still changing lives with her smile. The two siblings get along really well, and nothing warms my heart more than when I hear their laughter.

There are also the older children who are both married with families of their own. This part kind of took me off guard, I think I always pictured them as teens at best, but in their 30’s? Married? With kids? I wasn’t even 30 when I married their dad. So that’s kind of surreal to me. And in their kids I see a lot of what I remember in them as kids. This is a bonus to life I didn’t think about.

I still have my mom in good health running circles around me, and my sister and her son are thriving. I have a church family that through storms that felt like tsunamis only came closer together and I feel very much part of that family. I have a tribe that has my back. They have prayed me through hard stuff. They offer coffee dates, laughs, late night messaging and so much more.

Writing really only took off for me in my 40’s and I believe this is the decade where I see a breakthrough. I’m learning the craft and maturing in it. The ideas I have to bring to print, I’m excited. The strategy God has to use writing, I am so excited. I know that part is only beginning. I’m not chasing best seller lists or celebrity perks. But I pray for new readers to keep finding me. Because I want to see their lives changed for the better, and for me to cheer and encourage them along the way.

I envision travel in this decade, even though I’m more introverted than ever and am often content just to stay home.

As far as my self esteem, I believe there’s a lot of freedom coming in that area. Everyone I’ve talked to who is ahead in that game says the older they get, the more free they feel. I want that to be a good thing, not a self-entitled attitude that has other generations running the other way when they see me. I long to be more patient and compassionate, and not afraid of my double chin, baggy eyes, or glasses or contacts dilemma to stop me from getting out there. The fact that I enter this decade with gray hair continues to blow my mind. I never thought I’d stop coloring my hair. I even vowed that I would never stop. But when that wasn’t an option, I really wasn’t afraid. And now? I’m so glad. I can’t imagine going back.

I assume this decade will see me at graduations and weddings. I hope to celebrate a 25th wedding anniversary in my 50’s. I also know there is so much that is unknown. It’s kind of scary. But I know from this half century that God is good. Not just cliche good, but He really is. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. I’m proof.

So 50, here I am. Let’s do this.