CHRISTMAS BONUS: The Christmas Concert Disaster by Ruth O’Neil

All this week the Write Integrity Press families have been participating in Christmas blogs and specials, including last night’s Facebook party. I wanted to share a bonus post by Ruth O’Neil. I guarantee this will tickle your funny bone.

Do you have a Christmas pageant memory/choir/concert?

Boy, do I ever, but I will try to limit my Christmas disaster stories to only two. I remember one year Mom was frantically trying to get four kids ready for the Christmas program at school. She had taken her bath and in an effort to safe time, she plunked one of my little sisters and me in the tub together without changing the water. I never minded this. In fact, I remember loving to take a bath using her bath water (I know it sounds kind of gross, but I was a little kid!) Mom’s water was always so warm and it smelled so good because of whatever it was she would put in it.

While the two of us girls played around a little bit, I thought I would help Mom by washing our hair. When she came into the bathroom, presumably to wash our hair, get us out of the tub, and send us to our rooms where freshly ironed red velvet dresses awaited us, she let out a little bit of a scream.

“What are you doing?”

We just looked at her with saucer eyes, not realizing we had done anything but wash.

“Why did you wash your hair?”

“I was trying to help.” My lip probably quivered a little bit as I was the type of child that you only had to look at cross-eyed and I would never do whatever I was doing again.

“There was bath oil in the water!”

That meant nothing to me. Mom tried to rinse out our hair as best she could and as fast as she could. But it didn’t help much. Later that night I understood. Our hair never looked dry. We looked like oily, greasy messes standing up there in front of hundreds of parents and grandparents. I have pictures to prove it…somewhere.

Then there was another Christmas; the time I was in my first play. I was so excited. I was bad, I knew it, but that was okay. No one else tried out for the one female part so I got it. It was a cantata that the high school choir was singing with a little play scattered in between the music. The setting was the Civil War and my husband had been lost for good, at least that’s what my character thought. She watched her son grow up without his father. But then, low and behold, the husband came back. Now, the husband and I only had one scene together at the very end of the play. It was supposed to be very serious and touching. SUPPOSED being the operative word.

All through rehearsals I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t look him in the eye and be serious. I finally figured out that I could look at eye level, but look to the side of his face and the audience would think we were having a moment.

Then the night of the cantata/play came. Everything went fairly well. I didn’t mess up and my acting debut ended up not being all that terrible…until the end of the play. I don’t know what possessed me to try and look the poor boy in the eye, but it still didn’t work. I started giggling.

The director never cast me in a play again.

If you would like to read more about Christmas time growing up around my family and me, here is a short story available on Amazon for only ¢.99. A large portions of the story are true. I guarantee you will find at least a little bit of your family in this story. It will make you laugh, but then make you realize what it is we celebrate this Christmas season.

You can also visit me at my website and my blog.

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