Character Confession: The Whack-A-Mole Wife

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y—Confession!  Okay, that’s not quite how the Bay City Rollers sang it but today is the day I share my confession, courtesy of Pliable in His Hands Character Confession meme.

 

 

 

 

It’s been the best of summers, and the most anxious of summers. Where I wanted a calm, stress free, low humidity time with the kids it has been way busier than I ever planned on.  I prayed when we learned my husband’s oldest daughter was marrying this year that we would not have things break down or need repair. One hot water tank and car brakes later…I admit I was carrying a lot of fears.

Fears about money.

Fears about past circumstances and how we handled them as a couple.

Fears about this.

Fears about that.

And so on, and so on…

Thing is, I didn’t share those fears. The things of the past that nearly devastated me are just that, in the past. But when I have those fears, the scenario I always churn about is the what if it comes back. What if those things happen again?

But I didn’t want to bother anyone with those things, especially my husband.

So I became what I call the “Whack-A-Mole” wife.

Anytime anything that even resembled my fears or past events started to spring up, I was slamming it back down just like that Whack-A-Mole game. I became a classic stuffer and there was no peace. You can only stuff for so long before everything spews.

Thing is, it wasn’t a totally awful event that brought me to the place where I finally confessed the fears. It was a tense time mostly exacerbated by my stuffing. When I finally said everything that I’ve been holding onto, some fears, for years, something broke in the environment. The invisible hold over me was gone.

There was peace.

I know those things could happen, only God knows. But by sharing them with my husband, we can combat the what if’s together. Now I’m embarrassed that I took so long. Sharing your fears doesn’t mean you go in attack mode. I was honest and I tried to be loving, but real. Now we’re being specific and I feel relief. I can tell he’s saying things that face those fears head on.

I’m pretty sure we’re not playing Whack-A-Mole this summer…

Can you relate to any of this? If the Whack-A-Mole wife hit a nerve for you, I’ll be expanding on that in September with my marriage counter article over at the Internet Cafe. There are other amusement park activities that are great for kids, but devastating for marriages. You’ll have to mark your calendars for September 26 to read the rest. I hope you do!