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Fiction Friday: Second Time Around

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Welcome to Fiction Friday! Join us by posting your fiction work on your blog and linking below.

What’s that saying, life gets in the way? My heart is driven for fiction lately and yet it’s the last thing I’m doing these days. I had a story idea all week and between field trips, dodgeball tournaments and being sick, the idea is still in my head.

But…I am sharing an idea I’ve had for years for a fiction story based on surrender and forgiveness. I entered it for Flash Fiction with My Book Therapy (join that group!) and still haven’t had time to rework the excellent points they gave me.

Here it is though: a young woman who grew up in the middle of her mother’s betrayal learns her half sister discovered the same truths and runs away. Can Clari Baker forgive the past in order to help her sister Savannah do the same?

SECOND TIME AROUND

I’m pretty sure talking on a cell phone while pumping gas isn’t as potentially explosive as trying to diffuse a tween half sister on the verge of running away. Savannah Parks’ shrieks muffle the gas pump beeps.

“All those years I wondered what I did for you to hate me, why you refused to live with us when you had college breaks. It was never me. It was all mom.”

I finish the transaction and gather my thoughts.  A dozen years of betrayal, anger and unforgiveness seem to transfer over the phone line. Savannah sounds just like I did but the stakes are harder with her.

“You’re hurting sweetie, the last few months I’m sure have been hard for you. Don’t worry, I’m on my way. We’ll sort this through together.” I push my sweaty hair out from under the phone, ready to travel. Savannah’s still grumbling.

“I won’t be at the house. I’m packing my things and taking the journals to Pastor Dean’s. I can trust him.” She ends the call and I drop the phone.

Savannah has mom’s journals.

She’s heading to my childhood best friend’s house, my home away from home when I was growing up.

This time, Dean Welling is her childrens’ pastor and I’m just another family member that let Savannah down. I pick up the phone and call my dad. His soft voice calms my growing fears.

“You remember what it was like for us to learn someone we loved didn’t meet our expectations. Imagine Savannah finding out everything you did. Now add that her mother is dead and Savannah can’t go directly to her to learn more.”

“It’s time for me to right a dozen years of heartbreaking wrongs.”

“I think Clari Baker; you’ve joined a mission God long ago put in motion.”

Your turn! Leave a comment and then add your post to Linky Tools below. I look forward to reading your story!

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Julie

Kingdom minded. Wife. Mom. Author. Reader. Fan of chocolate. Learn more at http://linktr.ee/JulieArduini.
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Yvonne
Yvonne
12 years ago

Is that all? You can’t give us just a crumb!

Julie Arduini
12 years ago
Reply to  Yvonne

I know, doing that didn’t work for Flash Fiction either. It is a story I want to tell in whole. Looking forward to reading yours!

Debra Elliott
12 years ago

Julie,
I want more! Great job.

Julie Arduini
12 years ago
Reply to  Debra Elliott

Thanks Debra! I gave a RT to your FF link on Twitter. I appreciate your writing and kind comments.

Catrina Bradley
12 years ago

Wow! Powerfully intriguing. This flash fiction could easily turn into a novel! (hint hint)

Julie Arduini
12 years ago

Thanks Cat! I’ve had the idea since I’ve been in the Christian Writers Guild. I joined ACFW and am learning all I can. What’s left? Writing it!

Thanks for leaving a comment, I always appreciate your encouragement.

Sara Harricharan
12 years ago

Ooh, what a neat little snippet! Just the right amount for a teaser, I hope you find the time to expand it some day.

Julie Arduini
12 years ago

Thanks Sara! I’m so glad you stopped by, I know this was a busy day for you.