It’s Marriage Monday! Here is an invite from e-Mom:
Please accept my invitation to join us for Marriage Monday on March 7, 2011.
Our Topic for March is “Trust”
As always, you have all the freedom you need to cover the subject matter in whatever way you want. You can post prose, a bulleted list, a video, a slideshow, a poem, or a song—whatever the Spirit leads you to share with us. You’re the expert, and we’re counting on you to teach us a few new things to apply to our own marriages.
e-Mom @ Chrysalis
It was probably Fall 1995, less than a year from our August 1996 wedding. Although I knew Tom’s family well, Tom himself came into my life with a bang. When God decided it was time for us to meet, it was fast. We were engaged three months to the day he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I was a fairly new Christian not yet dealing with wounds I’d let penetrate my heart. Even the pure and true love Tom was pledging wasn’t enough to take down the walls around my heart I erected.
So when he asked what was wrong, I said nothing.
Right up until the morning we met but needed to drive to church separate. He asked one more time what was wrong. I gave my standard answer, burdened by the lie we both knew I was telling.
And in our stress….we both backed into each other’s vehicles.
The fender bender was minor but the internal damage felt a total loss. Tom took that as a last straw knowing I wasn’t being truthful and the pressure led us both to hit something so obvious and visible. He was hurt and shut down just when I panicked enough to decide it was time to start talking.
It took nearly a week before we had communication. I had no idea if the wedding was still on and if I could get over the guilt that I allowed my fears to kill something so good before it even really started. When he finally approached me I learned how essential communication is. And if you can’t be honest with your spouse in the small things, you aren’t going to do well with the covenant called marriage.
Learn from my mistakes. If you’re dealing with fears or hurt, communicate them. Don’t think you can handle it yourself. Find a pastor or counselor with a Biblical foundation to speak to. I can’t say enough about the John and Stasi Eldredge book, Captivating.
And may your marriage be blessed.
You deserve it!